


San in Wonderland

by MidoriNoHebi



Series: Ateez's Alternative Universes [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alice!San, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Caterpillar!Yunho, Cheshire Cat!Jongho, Childhood Memories, Death, Happy Ending, Inspired by Alice in Wonderland, Lost Love, M/M, Mad Hatter!Mingi, Minor Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Minor Kang Yeosang/Choi Jongho, Minor Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Nice Red Queen, No major characters though, Red Queen!Seonghwa, References to Depression, Rose!Yeosang, Sad and Happy, Tears, Temporary Amnesia, White Rabbit!Hongjoong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidoriNoHebi/pseuds/MidoriNoHebi
Summary: San had always been a boy lost in thoughts, so much so that he has a hard time making the difference between reality and imagination most of the times. But at 22 years, he is pretty sure that a White Rabbit wearing a jaguar printed coat and looking at a watch is not reality though ... So when the Rabbit calls for him and San ends up following him, he didn't thought he'd fall in the Rabbit whole under the oak-tree of his old house, and end up in a world of wonders that is not to unfamiliar, and when everyone around him tells him that he had to remember the first time he can, San's mind goes back to this strange dream he made 10 years ago, and he starts wondering if it was only a dream of his imagination, or reality.orEveryone in Wonderland has been looking for San for almost 10 years, but he doesn't remember anything when he finally comes back for the second time. The problem is : he has people that needs him, especially a silver-haired boy. And it's almost a life or death situation ...
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Ateez's Alternative Universes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898290
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	1. First Chapter : A familiar place

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys ! For those who follow my Ateez' writing I'm glad to see you again, for the new ones, welcome !  
> So, this isn't the fiction I was suppose to serve you after the "Pirates of the Caribbean" AU, I am currently writing the Suicide Squad AU right now, and it's taking me a little bit of time to have a few chapters before starting to post, so here I am, with a very short fiction. It'll be 4 or 5 chapters long, I'm sure it won't be longer. I had this idea while writing the other AU and I had this urge to serve this fic to you as a bone you can chew on until I come with bigger food x)  
> I really did an Alice in Wonderland AU, more inspired by Tim Burton's movie and the original writings of Lewil Carrol for the setting of the Universe, the story is all me though. 
> 
> I hope you'll like it and you won't fell like it's going too fast, chapter two will be up either tomorrow either in two days, but it'll be very soon. 
> 
> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated so don't be shy, and thanks for reading !

San had always been a dreamy boy. Every since he could think and speak, he spent his time head in the moon, trying to figure out the biggest mistery of the world his own way. Fortunatly, he had grown into a very loving and caring family, that didn't mind having to repeat three times something because he wasn't paying attention. But he was the only boy of the family, little brother of an amazing woman that had turned 25 not long ago. San knew that despite being in the XXIst Century, being the heir of a very rich and important family would mean great expectations from him.

But San had never been one to do classes. Even when he was 11, his 14 years old sister reading to him his History books to help him, he never paid attention. He was always dreaming.

That's why sometimes San had troubles knowing what was real or not. He had made a very real dream the same day his sister had red to him for the first time, 10 years ago, and he constantly saw things in his everyday life that reminded him of this dream. But he would always shake his head and the signs he thought seeing would be gone.

It was a problem for San to focus when he was constantly questionning the reality of his surroundings.

What he didn't have trouble knowing real was his mother yelling at him right this instant :

“Choi San ! Your sister's wedding is tomorrow, and the alley isn't ready !”

He cringed. He had been in charge of setting the flowers around the alley, but of course, his mind had decided otherwise.

“Sorry mother, I was ... hu ...”

His mother could never stay mad at him. The Choi father had disappeared at sea a few years back, when San was 15 and his sister 18, but his mother had never expected him to take his place at the only male left of the family. Her mother was a woman of her time, and so she took the responsabilty alone, to help San's sister with her desire to go to college, and finish San's education. Now, San was 21, a very good College student with a Major in dancing and Minor in singing, securing his futur in the Art industry, leaving it to his sister to take back the Family Business. Fortunatly, it had been her intention since their father's death. San's sister was as rough as her mother, and definitly not one to let men take what was hers, and so she worked her ass off to never have anyone doubting her abilites.

She even found her fiancé in the process, and was now pregnant and ready to start a family.

San was more than thrilled for her. They loved eachother with all they had. But he couldn't help feel ... out of place, in all this happiness. Something was missing to San. Not the father love that was ripped from him, no, it was something ... deeper. That he couldn't point out but he knew it wasn't there. And that hole appeared after he had woken up from that dream 10 years ago.

He got back to the present when his mother's arms closed around him.

“Sannie darling, I know it's hard for you, but I need you to stay focus _please_. This day is important for your sister, and because of the pregnancy she can't help and it's making her even more nervous. So be a darling and make sure she doesn't have anything to worry about except fitting in her dress !”

“I will tell her you said that !” laughed the boy.

“Don't you dare, she's capable of throwing a shoe at me.”

“You kind of deserve it.”

“Sannie !”

“What ! She's three months pregnant, not due for next week !”

“Still ! It's tiring and it's too much stress, even for a three months pregnant woman ! I thought I'd have your support on this one !”

It was all nice and games, both of them bickering like children. San loved the relationship he had with his family, he couldn't wish for better.

Oh yeah maybe there was one thing : that whole he needed to fill.

“Oh dear, it's almost 6 already, go back home sweety I'll help the others finish everything off.”

“You sure you don't need a hand ?”

“It's fine, and you have to be rested for tomorrow ! Your role is important !”

San smiled kissing his mother goodbye and goodnight in the process, thinking that yes, he had an important role. As their father wouldn't be there to assist the ceremony, San's sister had asked him to walk her down the alley. Of course he had said yes, hiding the tears in his eyes.

The Castle his sister was marrying in was a little further down the family's Manor property, and San only needed a 15 minutes walk through the woods to reach his house. So nothing could distract him right ?

It was summer, two weeks after his birthday, so the sun was still shining slightly, and there was a nice wind in between the trees, making San glad he took his black denim jacket. The summer had been fresh, and so he wasn't too hot wearing jeans. He had a black shirt tucked in them, beneath a loose white buttoned up that was everything but buttoned up, and hanged under his short jacket. Several silver necklaces hanged at his neck, his hair had been styled with braids he undone to have a wavy effect. They were freshly died too, for the wedding, with blue locks at his nape and silver ones right behind his ears and above the blue. The rest had only been lightened to a gentle brown. Knowing he'd be on his feet a good part of the day, he had left the house wearing his black Dr Martens. His eyes were smoked with a light red on the lower lid and a darker one on the upper one.

He had longely hesitated between minoring in fashion designing or singing, as he liked to make clothes from time to time, and had a naturally good fashion sens. He'd danced all his life so that was obvious, but singing and designing had really been on the same shelf.

He swallowed a yawn by slapping a hand in front of his mouth. San had been up since 8 a.m., so it wasn't really surprising given everything he had to do today that he was already tired.

_You're late !_

And hearing voices.

_Oi ! Listen to me ! You're late !_

Wait ...

_San !_

He stopped, heart beating like crazy, and snapped his head to his left after the noise of leaves startled him. He had been hearing a voice, right ? Telling him he was late ! What would he be late for though ?

_San you're late !_

His eyes looked at the woods around him, fear deep in his bones. He didn't like the situation but he didn't really knew what to be afraid off, so that was worst.

His eyes finally caught on something, and he knew he had gone mad : a tiny white rabbit, with the long ears, fluffy tail and everything, was dressed with a fur coat - a rabbit yes - with a jaguar printing, had blue highlights in his white hairs, and was standing on his back paws, holding what looked like ... a compass ? No, a watch.

San tilted his head on the side, eyes blown wide.

_Good, now that I have your attention, can we please hurry up. You're as late as you are ..._

He blinked. Once, twice. Then the rabbit huffed, and turned around, running.

_Come._

He was not letting a rabbit telepathically give him orders was he ? He was. He found himself looking at his house, thinking that it wouldn't take him two days to check whatever that rabbit wanted, then he would come home.

So he did start running after the rabbit. And damn was the thing running fast. San was panting, running through the familiar roots, dodging the long branches and their leaves, feeling the air come into his lungs and a weird feeling of euphoria running like this. He was drawn to the little field in which rested the very old oak-tree his mother had asked him never to approach since they invested the house, 10 years ago. Weirdly, it had been the day right after San had his dream. His mother had never minded him or his sister going close to it before, but since the dream, he was forbidden to approach it. He was a quiet kid, never one for trouble. So if his mother had said he couldn't come closer, they he wouldn't. But he was 21 now. He figured he'd be fine coming close to it now.

The rabbit had waited for him. He was standing at the feet of the tree, a little behind the big roots coming out of the ground, and when San was close enough, he hopped down. To where ? San had to come closer and to walk around the tree to figure it out. He didn't remember the big rabbit hole he was seeing there. It was so big he was sure he would fit if he tried to jump.

He didn't of course. He only kneeled close to it, hands parted on eachside to make sure he wouldn't fall and called. For what he didn't know, he just called.

_Well what are you waiting for ! Come on !_

The voice was louder, and San jumped out of his skin, but also out of his reality. Because next things he knew, his suprise had caused one hand to slip and he was now falling head first throught the hole.

He screamed. Of course he did. Who wouldn't ?!

He couldn't really figure out what was going on except falling. He knew the tunnel had grown larger, and the light was coming closer, and he was turning on himself for a while now. When he was stabilised, he could see the ground coming closer and closer and he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the fall.

It was less lethal than he thought. He only landed in a pile of flowers, clearly on a little mountain - how ironic considering he was called San - without a scratch or a broken bone. Amazing.

“Oh my God, what the hell is this ?”

He spit some petals out of his mouth, taking his time, still sitting in the grass, to look around himself. It was a trully a landscape of ... wonders. On kilometers he could see giant flowers all around, butterflies the size of a bread loaf, mushrooms taller than him. He could see trees, trimmed to look like animals, the sky, a perfect mix between one of a rainy day, and one cloudless and filled with the sun.

Everything was so colorfull, so bright, so living !

He stood up, slowly, looking at the path he could see at the feet of the little hill he was on, and saw the stairs on his right. He took them, raising his head when he heard the sound of bird, only to find little beings with wings. Fairies ? He also saw a tiny horse ... a pegasus ? What was this place ?!

“Well I'm a little worried you're asking, it would be weird to play the touristic guide to someone who's been here before.”

San jumped again, sighing loudly right after. That would need to stop. In front of him stood a smaller man, tiny even, considering his little hands. He looked fierce though, so San pouted a little while looking at him curiously.

He had bright navy hair styled backwards, two long braids hanging from his nape. He was dressed in a black shirt and black jeans, white boots, and the same furry coat as he'd seen on the rabbit earlier. He also had a watch in hand, he was currently looking at with a tap of his feet on the ground, clearly impatient. San thought he was hot, but his mind went blank when he saw the two rabbit ears coming from the top of his black hair twitching. Flashy _white rabbit ears_.

San's jaw opened slacked.

“What ? Got something on my face ?”

“Y-you ... you're the rabbit ?!”

“I am not _the_ rabbit, I am _a_ rabbit, yes. Come on you already knew that.”

“You're human !”

“In this world yes, but in yours, no. What's going on San ? You fell on your head ?”

He turned and started to walk with the clear expectation to have San following him, but the poor boy couldn't when he saw that with the ears came a little round fluffy tail.

“Oh my God ...”

“There is no God here and you know it, so please restrain from saying that. Now can you hurry ?! We are late !”

It finally clicked in San, and he jolted after the very small but fast man. It must came from the fact he was half-rabbit.

“You keep saying that, but why ?! Why are we late, what is this place, and why did you came to _me_? I don't know you !”

That made the rabbit-man stop in his track brutally, and San almost bumped into him.

“What do you mean, you don't know me ?” he had turned slowly, eyes now filled with something that looked like ... fear ?

“Should I ?” asked San.

It was clearly not the good words, because the other's expression only got worst and he grabbed San between his hand, looking deep into his eyes. They were really close to eachother and San couldn't help but turn a little red. He never had people so close to him before. The man seemed to see something he didn't like because he gasped, and quickly took him by the wrist and hurried down the paved path.

San was more than confused. He was suppose to know this man ? Is this why he had been so familiar with him, had known his name when San hadn't give him ?

He was pulled like this for five more minutes before they reached a sort of closed clearing surrounded by very tall roses that were taller than him too.

The rabbit-man went to a particularly big, blood-red one, knocked on the stem, and waited. In front of the smaller's panicked eyes and San's incredulous face, the flower bent, until some petals touched the floor, and it bloomed, revealing on the inside a man, probably as tall as San, so taller than the rabbit-man, asleep, hands on his flat stomach, legs crossed at the ankles.

His eyes batted awake, and San wondered if every person he'd meet here would be like this. Pretty. Because this one could be described as pretty. He seemed to have been made from the hardest stone yet the purest marble, like a living statue.

He yawned elegantly, honey hair not even messed when he sat down. His body was covered by a large black sweater with red and pink flowers patterns tucked in high black tight jeans. Black boots, and a silver key around his neck and that was it. Way more simple than the other one.

The stranger's beautiful white eyes settled on the smaller men, and he had a little head-bow.

“Hongjoong, you're back early. Did you find him ?”

So the rabbit's name was Hongjoong. Alright that was still one name San learned. It did sound familiar though he couldn't point out why. Hongjoong turned to him and pointed him out, clear distressed on his face, and the other noticed him. He saw his yellow eyes widened, and a gentle smile take place on his lips, his little pointy teeth showing.

“San !”

He stood up, the flower behind him closing and standing back to the way it was, and San thought the expression _girls are born his flowers and boys in cabbages_ was incorrect. San was almost sure he had the living proof that this boy was born in the rose he was sleeping in just before.

Hongjoong stopped him from reaching to San, and he turned curious eyes to him.

“He doesn't remember, Yeosang.”

San could see Yeosang's heart sink in his chest, while his face lost its smile and turned into an expression of horror. He didn't like all the pression he felt on his shoulders when he had no idea where he was and what was his purpose here.

“Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I really would like to know where this is. I have to go back home-”

“No !”

Yeosang was in front of him in a second, hands in his begging San with his bright blue eyes. That confused the other for a moment, he could've sworn Yeosang's eyes were white, then he saw them turn yellow and now they were blue. The boy blinked again, and now they were black.

Alright, that didn't make any sens.

“We need your help, you can't go yet !”

“I-I'm sorry but I don't know you. I don't know where this is, I don't know what you're talking about and I certainly don't know how you know my name !”

Yeosang and Hongjoong exchanged more panicked glances, before they seemed to decided it was useless, and calmed down.

“San, do you believe us if we tell you that we know you because you already came down here ?” asked gently Yeosang.

Down here ? So _it was_ inside the rabbit hole of the oak-tree !

“I'm sorry ... I said it before, I don't know anything about all of this, and I don't remember.”

“Not even in a dream ? None of this looks familair ? _We_... don't look familiar ?”

It did. They did. Hongjoong was right, it had been the first feeling to cross his mind, the place looked odly familair. But he couldn't figure out why. So he thought about this dream, the 11 years old him, and he felt like a kid all over again. He remembered all the colors, and all the wonderment that came with discovering this. But if he tried to dig further ...

He hissed, one hand slipping from Yeosang's to rest on his forehead. His head had just pained him as if a needle was trying to pierce right through it.

“There is some kind of, fog if I try to think about it too much but ... I had a curious dream when I was 11. I've always had a hard time believing it was just a dream, but I can't- It's always been blurry.”

“Something is keeping you from remembering,” said Hongjoong, thinking out loud.

“Something or someone,” added Yeosang. His hand had slipped on San's arm to bring him comfort on his headache.

“We need to get him to Yunho, he'll know what to do !” decided Hongjoong.

San knew now that he had things to remember, but it was still confusing ...

“Are you even sure I'm the right person ?”

“I've been looking for you ever since you left. Of course I know it's you. You didn't change too much in ten years,” smiled the blue-haired, and San felt another odd feeling, that screamed at him to trust them. He could trust them, he had done it before. If only he could remember when ...

“He grew hotter,” noticed Yeosang, smirking.

San turned red under the boy's back to yellow eyes, Hongjoong snorting.

“Wait until your boyfriend hears about this,” threw playfully the rabbit.

So there were more people, it wasn't only the two of them. San had figured much, as they both mentionned a Yunho ? And now Yeosang's boyfriend ... or maybe they were the same person ?

“We'll get you to a friend of ours, he'll help you remember what you forgot. Then, we'll go and see the Queen. I can't really explain why now, but it will make sens when you remember,” kept going the smaller.

“The Queen ? There is a Queen here ?”

“More like a King, but he doesn't mind being called a Queen.”

“There's a deeper reason behind it ...”But he loves being called a Queen,” corrected Yeosang, deep voice raising higher on the _love_ and rolling his eyes in the process.

“Hey ! That's my husband you're talking about !”

“Doesn't mean he's not being dramatic about his statue !”

“He's not ! He's being responsible.”

That earned Hongjoong a tiny giggle from Yeosang, that was quickly covered but definitly still heard by San, that cooed at him. That was the cutest sound the later had ever heard.

They had gone from the light field to a dark forest while they were conversing, but none of them seemed worried, so San tried to quiet down his nervousness. He felt watched. He knew someone was watching them behind the trunks, and it settled an uneasy feeling in his stomach : once more, he felt that it was not unfamiliar, that he was not afraid of that person looking at him, more like excited. Like children that played hide and seek and waited for their friends to find them, it was the same kind of thrill.

“I don't know what you're not King yet hyung, considering he's constantly whining about his duties, and whipped as you are, you always end up doing them with him.”

The voice resonated from everywhere around them, and San had no problem recognising it at the one of a singer. He saw a cat, yes, a _cat_ appear on the branch of a tree, but only partially. Only his _head_ appeared. San stopped walking and grabbed Yeosang's and Hongjoong's arms, eyes not letting the floating head out of sight. It was purple-ish with pink stripes, and in a second of clarity, San didn't remember what specy of cat had fur that color.

Yeosang and Hongjoong caught on what worried him and laughed.

“Please don't scare him off, he's not use to this anymore,” spoke the blue-haired.

Because he had ?!

A short but intense laugh was heard, the cat smiled, all his gummy teeth on display, then disappeared.

“Hello San,” only to appear in a human form behind him.

San screeched. He _screeched_. Loud and high and chlidish. Some birds flew off because of it but he didn't care, he had froze the cardiac arrest.

“Jongho !” he heard a whacking sound and hoped it had been on the other's head.

“Yeosang,” whined the new voice, clearly un-happy about that hit.

When San felt good enough to raise his head from Hongjoong's shoulder, he was once more welcomed by the sight of a boy his size and probably a bit younger than him, black coconut hair, round face, and pinch-able cheeks. He had on a purple sweater with black shapes that formed a cat's face, black tight pants and boots. Like Yeosang, he was dressed very simply. San figured that if Hongjoong was the Queen's husband, he must had more fancy clothes. The guy looked younger and a tad smaller, but more broad than him.

Yeosang was scouted in Jongho's arms by the later, strong hands wrapped around his tiny waist, the honey-haired lazily throwing his arms aroud the other's neck. That's not what shocked San though. The very long main coon-like fluffy pink and purple tail, as well as the triangle-ish cat ears on top of Jongho's head, just like Hongjoong's rabbit ears, that on the other hand ... People definitly had weird powers around here.

“It's been a while,” muttered Jongho.

“I was alseep,” apologised Yeosang, coral eyes sparkling with this special light only lovers had. “Summer barely started up there, which means Spring is on its way to us now.”

“I know, I'm sorry. It's just ... Winter was long this year.”

And they kissed. San blushed from head to toe and turned around, understanding with the very few words exchanged that this was Yeosang's boyfriend, that they had been without the other since a long time, that Yeosang apparently had more of a flower than San thought, and that this place was one season late compared to his world. Great. He liked collecting datas like this.

Hongjoong cleaned his throat and brought the attention back to the matter in hand : San. Or getting San somewhere.

“I'm trully sorry to interrupt, but San over there doesn't remember anything of his previous visit here, so we hoped that you could tell us where Yunho is, so we could send him his way and have his memories back.”

Jongho was as stunned as the two other had been.

“He doesn't remember ? At all ?”

Yeosang shook his head. They had parted but they were still in the arms of one another.

“He doesn't even remember ... _him_?”

Something changed in the atmosphere. Yeosang tensed, and Jongho was quick to sooth his neck as an apology for bringing this up, whatever that was, and Hongjoong's eyes turned sad.

“No, not even him. That's why it's urgent. _He_ is getting worst day by day ...”

“He is ?” asked Yeosang this time.

“We know that ever since San left last time _he_ wasn't the same. You slept over it but this Winter ... it was bad Yeosang ...”

“I need to see _him_. Please Hongjoong you can't keep me from-”

“Of course not, Yeosang. But for now we need Jongho to lead us to Yunho. Then I'll free the both of you and you'll be off to _him_.”

San was growing more confused by the second. He didn't know who this _he_ was, but he didn't seem in a good shape.

“Who is ... _he_ ?”

Yeosang looked trully heart-broken, eyes back to black, as if he couldn't believe San had forgotten.

“I can't believe you really don't remember ...”

“I'm really sorry ...” San didn't know what else to say. He was a boy with a big heart, always ready to help, but he didn't understand the distress the others were in and so he didn't know how to help.

“Don't apologise. It's not your fault,” assured Hongjoong.

“Yunho is with the Hatter,” informed Jongho. “I'll lead you there, and then I'll go with Yeosang.”

“We'll be able to take it from here,” assured the blue-haired.

The path towards the Hatter's location was silent. What had been mentionned earlier was obviously a touchy subject, and San really didn't want to pry, despite his curiosity. He trusted Hongjoong and decided to wait until all his memories were back.

Yeosang and Jongho were walking in front of he and Hongjoong, holding hands and silently discussing with eachother. The rabbit didn't seem to mind the silence between them, looking around as if he didn't know these woods by heart already.

“Hongjoong ?”

“Mh ?”

“How well do you know me ?”

That surprised the older, but he was quick to fall into a thoughtfull expression :

“You spent a few days here, two weeks I think ? So we all grew very fond of one another. You told us you didn't have a lot of friends, and you were glad you met us, because for the first time in your life, you felt like you belonged.”

It was indeed a feeling San recognised deep within himself. He didn't want to think about it too much, but he was feeling safe, even if he had no idea where he was or who where those people. His instincts never betrayed him though, so he decided to trust them.

“Can I ask questions ? Maybe it'll help me remember ...”

“Of course you can. I might not answer completely for some though, I still think it's best to let Yunho do his wonders to your brain.”

“You said you're the Queen's husband ?”

“I am.”

“Can you tell me how you met ?”

Ah, San's zodiac sign was making itself known. As a Cancer, San was a sensible boy, like most Cancers actually. His sensibilty displayed in the affection people had for one another. So hearing about Hongjoong's love story was his way of releasing the stress he was under right now.

“Oh, you're part of that story to be honest, so I'll only say the part you're not in. Seonghwa - the Queen - and I met thanks to you. I injured myself, and he took me in his castle to heal me while you ... had your own business to attend to.”

“At 11 years old ? In an unknown world ?”

Hongjoong laughed and nodded.

“Like I said, some things I won't be able to say. I wasn't feeling very safe ... Seonghwa was only the Prince at the time, and the Queen was not as nice as he is ... But he hid me. I could've gotten killed if someone had found me wandering in the castle, so he told me to stay in his chambers and wait for him. I had been trapped in my animal form as I was hurt, but one night after I healed, I woke up next to him in his bed.”

That reminded San a little bit about ' _Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children_ ', and how ymbrines can't go back to human form when they're hurt.

“I wasn't wearing clothes so I was entirely naked, and both of us got very flurstered from that,” another laugh, more tender this time, the one people have when they talk about a good memory. “But we were kids so it was still not as embarassing as it could be now.”

“Wait, kids ?”

“Yes, barely a year older than you.”

“Really ?!”

Hongjoong nodded once more. He was amused by San's suprise, and even if it wasn't his fault, he was glad Hongjoong decided to move on from his amnesia, and not look at him like he bore Death the way Yeosang did.

“Seonghwa and I are the eldest. Seonghwa _is_ the eldest actually. Jongho is the youngest. He's 20.”

“Oh, that makes me one of the middle ones then ! I'm 21 !”

“We know. You're younger than Yeosang and Yunho, and older than Mingi and Woo-” Hongjoong stopped and the name got stuck in his throat, as if he wasn't allowed to say it. He shot a quick glance in front of them and sighed in relief when he saw that neither Jongho nor Yeosang had paid attention to them, but that got San very curious.

“Mingi and ?”

“And Jongho !” Now that was suspicious. It was definitly not the name Hongjoong was about to say and San was sure about it.

If they wanted him to remember, why would they hide someone from him ? Was it someone bad ? Did they hurt him ? Did he hurt them ? San's curiosity got insatiable.

“Hey guys, you following ! We're here !”

They didn't realise they had stopped walking and where looking intensely at eachother, San with a suspicious spark Hongjoong was begging him to choke down for now. They stayed silent and toddled to the two other boys, whom stood in front of two giant leaved crossed.

Both of them got one of the leaves out of the way, opening the path on a big and circular field, in the middle of which was a windmill, and outside of it stood a very long-ass table, with sheets covering it weirdly. They were torn at the edges, dirty, and San found in this field the same crooked shapes he could see everywhere else around him. The forest had been like that too, darker, than the flower field in which they had found Yeosang. San liked this dark vibe. It wasn't worrying, it was cozy. He liked the contrast of those two places, not so different but as the same time, entirely opposed. A voice of his conscious told him that it was normal, here.

Around the table stood dozens of chairs and other fancy seats, some looked in very bad shape, others looked like they could come out of Seonghwa's castle. At one edge, the furthest from where the little quatuor came from, sat two very loud and flirty boys. One had a cup of tea in his hands, and was sitting in the biggest chair of the table, red and with a high backrest. His hair were a firy red, covered by a green and black top hat, decorated in laces, a peacock feather and a burned card that said _8/1_. His clothes looked a little more fancy, a little like Hongjoong's, but more casual like San's : a black t-shirt barely visible underneath the large white shirt covered in letters, a sleevless black vest above the rest. San couldn't see from where he was standing because the lower-part of his body was hidden under the table, and was dressed in loose dark jeans, and he had boots on. Around his neck hanged several chains, and he had on his wrist what San recognised as a pin holder, as he had some back home too. The red-haired boy had a very joyly face, eyes closing in crescents when he was smiling or laughing, and he could feel himself smile just looking at him.

The other boy was sitting directly one the table, back to them so he didn't see them come, but turned around the second he saw the red-haired's attention slipped from his hold. He had blond hair with black roots, and big black eyes filled with stars, that made one word scream in San's mind : _puppy_. But it wasn't a puppy's tail or puppy's ears he saw on that boy, but two antennas from his forehead, blue antennas, caterpillar's antennas, that twisted a little above his head elegantly. Unlike the other he wasn't holding a cup of tea but the tip of a chicha, grey and blue-ish smoke wrapped around him like strings. It was fascinating to see, the smoke not once parting away from his body, even when he breathed it through his nose ; it came to wrap around him right the second. San had never smoked in his life, but he was sure smoke was not suppose to do that.

“Hongjoong !” both boys screamed very loudly, before the red-haired threw his cup - filled with tea - over his shoulder and jumped on the table, not caring one bit about the fucking mess he was making between the crush teapot, the sugar all over the table or even the shaking spoon under every step. The blond-haired one took one big breath of smoke and let it out, his body completely surrounded by it, and disappeared.

San gulped, already prepared to jump because people liked to scare him here. But no, the boy appeared in the same cloud of smoke but on the other edge of the table, right next to them. The red-haired jumped off the table at the same time, hugging Hongjoong by the waist tightly and spinning him around. The poor smaller man couldn't do anything but laugh.

“Hi Mingi, your welcome his heart-warming.”

“It's not fair !” pouted the other one, and Hongjoong hurried to pat his head once his feet touched the ground.

“Don't sulk Yunho, you're not a child anymore,” so this was Yunho. San wasn't sure he wanted to trust someone who smoked chicha with his memories. He didn't look high though, so that's that ...

They chatted with Yeosang and Jongho for a while, San not minding and looking around him in awe, before Yunho finally catched sight of him :

“Hey, didn't we meet somewhere ? You look familiar ...”

“I'm San,” only answered the called one, and he knew it was enough with how both Yunho and Mingi widened their eyes.

“Sannie !” it was loud to hear your name screamed by two very loud persons, but San didn't care. He didn't recognise them either, but they were friendly, funny, and San already liked them. Yunho had this boy-next-door face that everyone liked, and Mingi was obviously a mood-maker, the type of person San was comfortable with.

“Hi ?”

“Guys,” Hongjoong's voice had dropped a little, seriousness sweating from it.

“What ?! Don't be a party pooper hyung it's been so long since we last saw him ! Look he was all a baby and now he's all grown up !” smiled Yunho.

“All of us have grown up !” corrected Mingi.

“Yeah but we didn't see him grow up !”

“Guys !” cut Hongjoong, annoyed. Both turned to look at him, a bit surprised by his tone. “San doesn't remember anything from his time here. You don't ring any bell to him right now, so calm down.”

They now looked astonished, back and forth between the two man.

“He doesn't ...,” started Mingi.

“Anything ?” completed Yunho.

Yeosang shook his head. San didn't understand how his eyes color worked, but he knew it wasn't good when it was black, like right now. It pained his heart, to know he was the reason without being able to fix it.

“So, Woo-” Hongjoong coughed really loudly to cut Yunho's words, making him snap his lips in a thin line. Yeosang had gone even darker at the simple syllable, Jongho slythering one hand on his waist.

“We're going to see him now. Yunho, please, we count on you to help San remember. We know he can. He'll explain, and I hope it can work ...”

“And if I don't remember ?” asked San.

“We'll help you. Except if you don't want to ?” Mingi's question only had one answer possible for the four boys from this world, and San saw their struggle to not show distress at the possibilty he could refuse.

“No I want to remember. I know something important happened here, I can feel that a big part of me lingers here, and I want that part back.”

They all breathed in relief, Yeosang and Jongho biding goodbye. The former even hugged San.

“I really hope you'll remember, about my eyes, the next time we see.”

“How did you-”

“You had the same look the first time. Looking at them and trying to understand how and why they changed,” San really felt taken care off right now, and Yeosang's hold had the same print as his sister's.

San could only smile back, to Jongho too, and they walked back into the forest. Right before disappearing, Hongjoong called them :

“Meet back at the castle ! Even if San doesn't remember, we'll go there next !”

And now it was only San, Yunho, Mingi and Hongjoong. The two others looked at him from head to toe, trying to understand how it was possible.

“He needs a cup of tea,” concluded Mingi after his inspection.

Yunho and San puffed, but they followed nonethless. San was sat at Mingi's left, leaving Yunho sitting back at his right on the table, and Hongjoong staying up between Mingi and San. The later felt a little shy, under all of their gaze.

“So, what do you remember ?” asked Yunho. Mingi was splashing tea all over the table when seizing the pot, but didn't put a drop out when he served the tea in San's cup. He put two sugar cubes, dropped a spoon, and handed it to San. He was surprised to see the other knew exactly how he took his tea, but once more, if he had already came here ...

It was weird seeing all these people, knowing things about him, while he didn't know shit about them. For now. He hoped that would change.

“I remember having a dream, ten years ago, a peculiar dream. I fell asleep on one of the oak-tree branche.”

“The one hiding the rabbit hole in your garden ?” asked the blond again.

“Y-yeah. I don't remember how, but I was on the floor when I woke up, and my sister was nowhere in sight, but she soon came back with my mother.”

“Do you remember their expression ?”

“What do you mean ?”

“Where they frightened, scared, confused, especially your sister ?” those were very specific questions, but he was right.

“She was. Mother was just utterly relieved, but I remember Noona often looked at me like if she was trying to solve a mystery after this incident.”

“What happened next ?”

“Mother forbid me to come closer to the three again, my sister too. I started taking pills, during a month or two, and that's it.”

“Pills ?”

“Medication,” precised San, understanding they mustn't have those down there.

“For what ?”

“My head. Since the dream I was talking about a lot of things that I had seen, or thought see. Mother got scared my head had been injured and put me under medication. Why ?”

Mingi and Hongjoong were sipping their tea, not really understanding Yunho either. The blue-haired made a funny face and scrunched his nose after taking the first sip of tea, and coughed as silently as he could. Mingi had dropped five sugar cubes and it was way too sweet for Hongjoong, the smaller male taking revenge by throwing a sugar cube right on the Hatter's nose.

“When you try to remember, what happens ?”

“I have a sort of fog on my mind, and it's complicated. Then I feel needles of pain through my head.”

Yunho stayed silent a moment, then nodded.

“Alright, I can help. I don't know how much time it'll take, but I will help you clean the fog out and remember. That dream you had, it wasn't one. That's how you remember it because of the medication your mother put you under, but it was very much real. _We_ were this dream San,” the younger was shocked and even more confused, brain tired to try to piece the things back together.

Before he could say anything, Yunho took another big drag of smoke, and released it all over San this time. He coughed, but he couldn't do anything against the smoke lingering through his mouth and nose, and so he closed his eyes, letting it fill all his senses.

Then, he remembered.


	2. Second Chapter : House of Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Chapter is up ! Sorry I might be a day late compared to what I said but I've been busy. I hope you'll like it, it's rather long and might appear as fast, but I'm thinkin about making a prequel of this story once I'm done with it, in which this chapter will be written in more chapters with more details, something I couldn't do now as it was just a flashback.   
> I'll make a quick reminder of everyone's role at the end of the chapter so don't go see it now, you'll spoil yourself !
> 
> Enjoy !

It felt like falling asleep. As the smoke invaded his lungs and brain, San felt himself fly. He felt like he was living an out-of-body experience, and saw everything he forgot like a third part.

It started from the beginning of this peculiar day. San's sister was reading to him about Korean History, and San had made its way on the highest branch he could find but from which he could still hear his sister. She had been worried, but he had brushed it off, and after forcing him to stay sitting, she started reading.

Of course, San's mind was elsewhere, looking at everything but his sister, or focusing on everything but her voice. His eyes wandered to the forest around them, on his left and right, he quickly shot a glance to his house, further behind the oak-tree, then he looked at the tall castle down the little hill his house was perched on. Needless to say he didn't know it would be where his sister would have her wedding ceremony 10 years later.

San was not focusing on what he should have, and that's how he noticed a white rabbit, wearing a brown fur jacket, and looking at a clock. He jolted from his half laying against the trunk position to a sitting one, one leg hanging under him, the other bent on the branch, thigh pressed againt his torso. It had been an illusion right ? He could not see a white rabbit with a jacket looking at a watch.

_Oh no I'm late ! The others will be furious at me !_

San was positive this voice didn't came from his sister, and so he watched as the rabbit made its way running from the edge of the forest to the oak-tree he was perched on, only to hop in the hole right under San's branch. Any 11 year old boy would get curious. So what did San do ? He quietly - to not catch his sister's attention - made his way down the tree with the goal of standing close to the hole. This goal was crushed when he slipped, and barely had the chance to let out a surprised yelp before he fell right inside, disappearing from the world in a second. He remembered the fear he had felt, falling during minutes that felt like hours, but how everything was slowed down. He remembered the weird tunnel in which he fell, filled with objects like tables, beds, cups of tea, mirrors in which he watched himself falling upside down. It didn't have any sens, and San pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Landing in a circular room with doors everywhere around him was a bit too much for a dream. Or a nightmare for that matters. San never had such developped scenes in his sleep before, and he knew he was very much awake, as he had fallen from the oak-tree right into the hole.

The room had a checkerboard floor, a colorful ceiling, and brick walls. Curtains hanged in front of every doors, and the light was coming from the giant chandelier above his head.

Unlike this time, San remembered that last time, he had a hard time reaching this world of wonders. None of the doors were opened, he couldn't find any keys, and the only one that had an opening was big enough to let a cat pass through it. So definitly not a little boy.

He had pouted, called for someone, anyone, panicked a little, tried to rationalise all he was seeing, only to decided that he wouldn't care about any of this and live it as if it was a dream. He couldn't be harmed in a dream, right ?

His salvation had came when a table had popped in the middle of the room, a key and a little bottle on it. _Drink me_. That was what had been written on the tiny bottle. San was maybe 11, but he was not unaware of the dangers of drinking something his mother didn't aprove beforewards. He opened it, removing the little cork, and smelled it. It smelled like vanilla and strawberry. His mom never minded him drinking vanilla and strawberry smoothies, so this should be safe too, right ?

He had drunk it, and in his horror, had seen the world grow bigger around him. It had taken him a moment to realise it was only him that had grown smaller, and so he had hurried to the small door with hope and joy. By the time he had reached it, it was locked. San had remembered the key, but now he had no way to reach it.

It had made him frustrated, and sad, but when a little box filled with cookies appeared, he had grown suspicious again. _Eat me_. What was it with everything telling him what to do ? He knew what he was suppose to do with a drink or food !

Annoyed, San had decided to eat only a little bit of the cake, and once more was caught off guard as he had grown back to his normal size. He hadn't lost time to think about it and had snatched the key from the table, and took a smaller gulp from the bottle he still had in hand.

He had shrinked less than the first time, and was excited to finally open the door, running to it in his little school shorts.

San remembered the feeling of awe and his eyes filled with stars when he had discovered the world behind the door. It was exactly like he remembered it : this perfect contrast bewteen darkness and colors, the many different flowers alongside the dark roots and crooked trees, the imaginary creatures he could never imagine flying around him, he had been impressed, excited, and eager to discover everything he could. He had almost forgotten about the rabbit, until he saw a little path down the hill he had appeared on. He had ran to it and followed it until he arrived in a little field surrounded by flowers. Yeosang's field. He remembered now. Just like this time, last time was in the beginning of Summer, and so they had started to bloom. He remembered seeing a very big flower bend down until it touched the ground, and bloom, to reveal the prettiest kid San had ever seen. He couldn't figure if it was a little boy a girl, they looked like a little boy, very pretty and almost unreal.

San had came closer, and the boy had widened his beautiful white eyes when he saw him.

“ _Hello, I'm San. You slept in that flower ? Is it comfortable ? Are you a boy ? You look like a boy but I'm not sure, my sister says it's little girls that are born in roses ... Oh your eyes changed colors ! How do they do that ! Why are they blue now ?!”_

If San could chuckled in his drugged state he would have, remembering how Yeosang had watched him as if he had grown a third head. He had looked around himseldf, clearly expecting someone to come help him, but only seeing San and his very curious eyes, he had relaxed, understanding he wouldn't be a threat. It made San fond of himself to remember how Yeosang had always been fascinating to him.

“ _I'm Yeosang. I sleep in that flower. I was born in it too, but I'm a little boy. My eyes change color depending on my feelings. I_ am _a Rose. Do you know the language of flowers ?”_

San remembering widening his eyes and jumping on spot a little, excitement building up more every second. He was a curious one, and had always been a black hole for knowledge. Everything he could learn about, even if he wasn't interest, he would.

“ _Flowers speak ?!”_

Yeosang had had one of his little shy giggles, San had cooed at him, exactly like he did earlier.

“ _They don't speak like you and I are right now. We speak with colors.”_

“ _Colors ?”_

And so San remembered how he knew that White Roses meant innocence and purity, the reason why Yeosang always woke up with white eyes after hibernation. He remembered learning that Yellow meant joy, friendship, or like Yeosang when his eyes had settled on San after ten years, _welcome back_. San now remembered that Yeosang had his eyes yellow most of the time when they were children, and it warmed his heart. He remembered that if Yeosang's eyes turned blue, it meant he was distress, as Blue meant the impossible. It could be in a good way, then it would warm up to a darker blue. The Black obviously meant grief, so San understood better why it turned this way everytime they had mentionned his amnesia.

But San also remembered that Yeosang didn't always have Coral eyes looking at Jongho, didn't have the eyes of Desire. When they were kids, they always turned a pretty Lilac, for the first emotion of love. San remembered that their little group had met almost because of him. Yeosang and Hongjoong already knew eachother, Hongjoong's burrow being in Yeosang's field. But seeking Jongho was a new meeting for the three kids, and the Rose's eyes had flashed a nice Purple when they had first landed on Jongho : Love at first sight. San remembered how they constantly changed after they had met the young Cheshire Cat. During his whole days with them, he had seen Yeosang's eyes changing from the Pink of Appreciation, to the Peach of Gratitude, going through a yellow with red rings for Falling in Love, to finally settled for the deep Red of Love a little before San had gone back home. Jongho had fallen in love as much with Yeosang as the older boy had for him, and at 11 and 10, it was such a cute sight. It didn't surprised San to understand how in ten years, Desire had also made it's way into their relationship.

So San also remembered meeting Hongjoong for the first time, after Yeosang had called him with for help, not understanding how it was possible than a human boy had appeared in their world.

“ _Oh hi Yeosang, slept well ? Why did you call me sounding like- what is this ? Oh ... OH ! A boy ?!”_

“ _Hi hyung, sorry to bother but he appeared out of nowhere and he's not from around here as you probably guessed already ...”_

“ _Hi, I'm San !”_

“ _Hello, I'm Hongjoong. How did you get here ?”_ 12 year old Hongjoong was as calm and collected as 22 yeard old Hongjoong ; which meant he was not. He was fidgetting all around, still checking his clock every second, and San's presence was making him nervous. Wonderland wasn't a place as safe back then as it was now, as the human was slowly starting to remember.

“ _I followed you of course ! Though ... wait- Y-you're not a rabbit ... You're human ?!_ ” San remembered how he had seen Hongjoong's ears and tail and quickly change his question : _“But you've got ears and a tail ! What are you ?!_ ”

“ _Oh by the Queen, San ! You can't just ask people what they are !”_ had scolded Yeosang with a little laugh, Hongjoong looking absolutly done with life. 

And the younger remembered that Hongjoong as well as others in Wonderland, was a hybrid, but could turn into a full animal once he reached San's world. San had been a little stunned to learn that he was not suppose to be able to reach this world, but when Hongjoong had crossed, he had open a portal San could go through. But the portal had been closed and they had no idea how to get San home. So last time they had to go in Jongho's forest, only Hongjoong knowing about him at the time but by name, to find where to go.

The meeting with Jongho had been curious too. At 10 years, the boy was not as capable to control his ability to transform as Hongjoong, and had appeared to them as a small but fluffy kitty ball with a pink and purple fur, speaking through their minds. They had surprised the boy in the middle of a song, his voice beautiful and mesmerizing, and he was as curious as he was scared of them.

“ _Who are you and what are you doing here ? No one ever comes into my forest ...”_

“ _We only need direction, we mean no harm. I'm Kim Hongjoong, the White Rabbit.”_

“ _And I'm Kang Yeosang, the Rose.”_

“ _.... Choi San ... the ... Boy ?”_

“ _I'm Choi Jongho, the Cheshire Cat. Where would you want to go ?”_

San had been very excited once more, imagining in his head that Jongho was his cousin (?). A sort of very long lost relative that clearly had different family lineage than his, because once he had been able to turn human, he had a very long main-coon like tail, and cat ears on top of his head. Jongho was really suiqshy even at the time, Yeosang pinching his cheek gently and giggling right after.

San remembered he must've been the most annoying kid they ever met. No one was as excited and curious as he was, jumping around all of them to observe them under every angle like the little boy he was. Thinking back to it, all had been so patient. Exactly like now. San focused more, feeling the fog dissipate more and more as he searched for memories.

Yunho and Mingi weren't with eachother at the time, and Jongho had led them to Mingi's home that was very lonely and silent, the red-haired boy sipping his cold tea sitting at an empty table. San remembered their surprised face when he had asked :

“ _Don't you have parents ? I thought I would meet adults that could help us better, but I don't see anyone here ...”_

“ _Parents ?”_

“ _I don't have some,”_ had said Yeosang _,“I was born in a Rose remember ?”_

“ _I don't think I have some either, the forest made me. That's why I can teleport, disappear and appear when I want,”_ had agreed Jongho. It had turned out that Hongjoong and Mingi did have parents, but they were busy and elsewhere at the time. San tried to make a mental note to ask them about their parents now. 

Mingi had offered them cups of tea, they had sung, danced, loose time despite Hongjoong being nervous and stressed.

“ _We need to get San to the castle ! Only they will know what to do !”_

“ _We can't ! The Queen will have him enslaved !”_ Jongho was very opposed to this idea, all of them were. Hongjoong knew it wasn't the best, but he had no other idea, and San couldn't stay here. 

“ _We have to bring him to the Caterpillar,”_ had said Mingi. He didn't knew who was the caterpillar really, but he had heard his parents talk about it a lot, and he knew it was the only place that would be safe outside his field and that could give them answers. They were like lost boys walking around the woods. 

And so they departed, the five of them, to the Caterpillar's house. Jongho had grown tired and turned back into a cat, deciding that Yeosang's shoulder were the best place to take a nap, the Rose turning a sweet pink ; San remembered that clearly. 

He also remembered the Mushroom Forest in which they had found Yunho, the later sitting on one of those big mushrooms, already smoking the chicha (San remembered that it wasnt actual drug like in his world, but more of witchcraft sort of thing). His family was absent too, and so he helped them.

“ _Are you the San ?”_

“ _I am a San, but the San I'm not sure ...”_

“ _You don't know who you are ?”_

“ _I do ! I just told you I am San !”_

“ _But not the San !”_

“ _What does that even mean ?!”_

Yunho had revealed to them how dangerous San's presence was, but not because it could disturb the balance between both worlds. No. Because the Red Queen of Wonderland had a beast, she kept locked, and tortured. And she would let that beast out on anyone whom would disobey her. Yunho had heard his mother talk about a prophecy she dreamt of, saying that a human boy named San would be the people's salvation, against the cruelty of the Red Queen. He really hadn't known how he could be anyone's salvation being only 11, but when Yunho said the only way San could leave was to help them, he had to stay. They had told San about the beast kept by the Queen, a boy, like Hongjoong, Yunho and Jongho, that could change his appearance, but unlike them he wasn't a fluffy animal or an insect. He was a dragon.

Soon, their little time fell in place : Jongho was the one to guide them through the land, Yunho was the one knowing about everything, Mingi was the helper, Hongjoong the leader, and Yeosang the one whom could quiet them down with Hongjoong. They all had their own role in their little band, despite having known eachother for barely a day.

“ _He's a Jabberwocky. A dragon. They went instinct when the Queen decided to lead an attack on them. All of them died, but one. A boy, our age. She enslaved him and made him her beast, her '_ baby _' as she likes to call him,”_ had explained Yunho. 

“ _I'm pretty sure she likes him more than her own son ...”_ had added Jongho. 

“ _A son ? The Queen has a son ?”_ San was dumbfounded.

“ _That's all we know. No one ever saw him, for all we know he might be dead. The Queen is a monster. She cuts people head off, and keep them in a special room in her castle,”_ had informed the cat.

“ _That's horrible !”_

“ _It is, that's why we're glad if you're the one who can help us !”_ Mingi had been a little quick to be enthusiast, because suddenly all the pression had caught onto San. He remembered the fear, the same pression he felt on his shoulder, that he had before. He had been even younger the first time, and what was e, so at expected of him was even worst, he felt it. Stopping an entirely royalty ... It was insane, already at 21 so younger ... 

“ _I-I can't ... I'm n-not, I'm only 11, how can I help if she wants to cut my head off ?! She has a dragon ! She's an adult and I'm just a child !”_

Hongjoong had whacked Mingi's head, and San laughed at the memory even if he hadn't been when it happened. Yeosang had been quick to take him into his arms, and Jongho - even after saying he didn't like hugs - had willingly turned into a cat and nuzzled on his lap. Hongjoong and Yunho had both landed a hand on his shoulders and Mingi had apologised.

“ _I'm sorry, I didn't say it right. We know it's different where you're from, but here, we can do lots of things that your parents probably forbid you too ... I meant that if you're scared, or think you can't do it it's fine, we'll do it for you !”_

Everyone had been looking at Mingi as if he had lost his mind, except San, to busy to dry his tears. His heart warmed up when he remembered the way everyone had sighed before agreeing, telling him that they would help him, if only he wanted to help.

He had accepted. Thinking about it now, he wondered if he hadn't been a little too out of his mind for agreeing so fast. Anyway ...

Now that San wanted to help, they needed a plan. Mingi's family being away and the apprentice Hatter being the only one with a home comfortable enough for San and big enough for six boys, they had all started to live with the red-haired. They had needed three days and two nights to make a plan, almost perfect, to free the Jabberwocky, and overthrow the Queen. Immediatly, Hongjoong and Jongho had passed the words down every small village of the Land, while the four others immediatly departed for the castle. It had been a long walk through the densed woods after the Hatter's field and they had to pay attention to every corner to not get caught by the Queen's guard, and had more than often used more of the potion that made San smaller when he had arrived.

After two days and one night, during which they had all fallen asleep glued to eachother - the three hybrids in their animal form, the elder and youngest nuzzled in San's and Yeosang's embrace, Yunho fitting in Mingi's small hat - they had finally arrived near the Queen's castle. She was playing cricket in her garden, surrounded by a fake Court, using flamingos and hedgehogs for the game, and San had understood immediatly why she was seen as such a monster, even by kids who had only heard rumors about her. Her head was big, and red, and her dress very tight at the waist with falling skirts, probably to compensate. She was smaller that he would've thought, but looked very mean. San immediatly thought of her mother, and how she would make a prettier Queen that her ... a nicer too. The crown on her head was filled with jewels and had a little heart at the top.

“ _The cages in which she keeps the beast is suppose to be in that tower over there,”_ pointed out Yunho, showing the tallest and most visible tower, filled with guards all around and at the top of it, and San had closed his eyes. He had to act like it was a dream, it was his only way of not getting hurt. 

“ _We have to make sure we're not seen,”_ he had said. 

Hongjoong had came back from his little expedition around the hedges surrounding the castle in which all of them had been hiding.

“ _There isn't a way directly to the tower, but I found out it's in a little yard behind the castle.”_

“ _So, where are we going ?”_ had asked Yeosang, fingers fidgetting nervously. He had turned a deep pink when Jongho had taken his hands and linked their fingers to calm him down, and San had been absolutly smittened by their tenderness. He was glad to see it had always been like this. Hongjoong had led them behind the yard in which the Queen was playing, and still small as mice, they made their way in the castle through a kitchen door, hiding behind the big statues when guards came down the corridors, silent and precise. They were only kids but they acted like adults already. They had been carefull to make sure they weren't followed, but hadn't seen the tall boy with bright blond hair following them from afar, very far. 

Arriving in the yard had been rather easy, but now they had to take care of the gards. They hid in bushes of roses, Yeosang frowning when he saw the bright white roses.

“ _She doesn't deserve to have so beautiful flowers. And even less white,”_ acting against his better judgment, he had made all the flowers died, which was rather stupid because it brought the gards attention on them, a bush dying in a second being rather .... suspicious to say the least. 

They had been discovered, and now San remembered the deep fear he had felt : the paralysing fear, the one that made him want to scream but couldn't let it out, only keeping his agony in. Jongho had disappeared of their sight, and Hongjoong had tried to run away but had been hurted by a gard stabbing one of his back legs. He hadn't been caught though, and with Yunho transformed, only Mingi, Yeosang and San were left to throw in jail.

San didn't thought he'd see it, he hadn't seen it when the gards had taken him and the others away, but now, looking at his memories from a third eye, he saw a young boy, the same one that had been following them, wearing black clothes, like if he was going to a funeral. He was pretty though, differently from Yeosang, but San recognised him now as the young prince. He remembered what Hongjoong had told him about meeting Seonghwa, and when he saw the blond prince looking in the bush at Hongjoong's shivering form, he understood that he had saved the rabbit this day.

The more memories came back, the feelings too, and San felt more light-headed but he knew it was far from being over, so he had to stay focus and keep remembering.

He had been thrown in jail, Mingi had been slapped for his insolence, and Yeosang had tried hard not to cry, curled up in a ball in the corner the closest to San. It was hell. It had been cold, they had been scared, and they had not known what to do. Jongho had came back, still as a cat, and had curled up to Yeosang, trying to warm him up as best as he could. But the Rose was cold, and like every cold flower, he had soon fallen asleep, worrying Mingi and San slightly. The Queen had came to visit. She had asked for their name. San had made sure to not reveal his real one to her, understanding that she was aware of the prophecy concerning the fall of her reign :

“ _You're a human boy ! What's your name ?”_

“ _S-Mountain.”_

“ _Moutain ? What a weird name for a boy !”_

“ _That's because I was born on a Mountain your Highness.”_

“ _I see ! Well, Mountain, what were you doing in my bush ?”_

“ _I didn't mean to do something bad, I'm sorry. We were playing hide and seek with my friends.”_

“ _Some ran away. It didn't look like you were playing,_ Mountain _.”_

“ _I swear we were !”_

“ _Don't talk back to me insolent child ! Slap him, ten times !”_

San's cheek had burned, tears had fallen on his cheeks, and the Queen had been as much as a monster as he feared. She had condamned them to die the next morning at the claws of her dragon. Yeosang had started to cry too after waking up, Jongho had turned back into a boy and had held him until he had fallen alseep again, but Mingi had refused to given up. Yunho had succeeded in joining them, and had been working hard to try and take the keys from the gard without startling them. San remembered feeling very cold, and scared, but being glad he was surrounded by his friends. ?”

In the middle of the night, when everyone had given up and had started to lose hope, Hongjoong had appeared. Clothed in weird shirt and pants, but alive and almost well, as his injury left him lamping a little. He was followed by a blond boy none of them recognised, but seeing how the gard were knocked out, they had all woken up and were alert. The one whom had knocked the gards out was taller than the boy following Hongjoong, and had dark hair, unlike the other.

“ _Hongjoong ! Where were you ?! I saw you hurt but you managed to get away !”_ had asked Mingi. 

“ _Seonghwa found me. He healed me and helped me go back to human form !”_

They had all glanced at the smaller of the two boys, suspicious and afraid.

“ _Hongjoong, the Queen condamned us, we'll die tomorrow morning,”_ Yeosang had been desperate and shaking in fear without being able to stop.

Hongjoong's eyes had widened, and San clearly remembered that both the others boys had too. They had looked at eachother, pain but resolution in their eyes, nodding at a silent conversation they had between one another.

“ _I'm Seonghwa, and this is my brother, the first born and the Queen's only son. She killed my parents when she destroyed my village. I was the only survivor.”_

“ _She killed my father, the King. She's the worst woman I ever met, and she's not liked by anyone around here,”_ had informed Seonghwa's brother. San remembered his age was never given, but he had looked as old as his sister at the time. _“Hongjoong told us about your plan to let out the Jabberwocky !”_

San had exchanged another set of suspicious glances with Jongho. It was too easy to be true, and he had not been about to risk his life for lies. His life was on the line anyway, but if he could live until dawn, he would be glad.

“ _Mother does horrible things to him to get him to obey, and I've always been against it ... but I can't risk losing my own head and leaving Seonghwa alone. He's not her real son, and without me in her way, I don't even want to think about she could do to him.”_

“ _She only keeps me around in case her real son disappoints here ...”_

It was terrifying how aware they had been, kids barely entering teenage, but ready to do what was necessary.

Everything had gone in a blurr after that. San didn't remember all the details, because even at the time, it had gone to fast for his brain to comprehend, but he remembered Seonghwa's brother taking them out of their prison with the guards' stolen keys and leading them through the corridors back to the yard in which was the tower. What they hadn't expected was the enormous animal with a very long neck, snapping jaws, and it looked ferocious.

Seonghwa's brother had cursed :

“ _Shit, it's the Bandersnatch !”_

“ _The what ?”_

“ _Another beast Mother took in. It's a real beast and not a hybrid, but it doens't make it less dangerous, on the opposite. It was trained and it will kill us at sight.”_

“ _No, not me,”_ had said Seonghwa. _“I play with him often once the Queen leaves, and I slyther in his cage at night when I'm cold.”_

“ _He never hurted you ?! Seonghwa that's dangerous !”_ his step-brother had been shocked and surprised. Seonghwa had shook his head and had stood up discreetly - to not be caught by the gards - and approached the creature. It had recognised him and its body had relaxed, turning into something less threatening. Behind his back Seonghwa had made sign for them to go, but Hongjoong had decided to stay. 

“ _I'll look out for the gards with him.”_

“ _Hyung, are you sure ?”_

“ _He saved my life Yeosang, I owe him ...”_

The tower had stairs on the outside, wrapped around it rather dangerously, and San remembered his thought at this precise time : the Queen definitly wasn't the one to come up to the Jabberwocky with how narrowed the stairs were. They had made their way up, only to notice two guards walking around. Jongho had made the diversion, throwing something down the stairs loudly, and let enough time for the guards to see him before disappearing, efficiently having them after his ass.

Yeosand had been worried and San had taken his hand.

“ _He'll be fine,”_ he remembered saying. 

Walking around the back of the Jabberwocky's prison, they found the metal door, and Yunho turned into a caterpillar to pick the lock. At the noise, the curled up boy inside had jumped out of his sleep, and San had sworn time had stopped. Even now, seeing his memories, seeing this boy, this peculiar boy all over again, brought a warm feeling in his chest, and butterflies in his stomach. Just like Yeosang when he first saw Jongho, San was sure that if his younger eyes could've changed color, they would've turned purple.

The boy had silver hair with lilac locks, and even if they were dirty, they shined in the moonlight, only thing that helped them seeing in the darkness surrounding them. San had stood there, frozen, looking at the harsh and dark eyes of the other boy, his plain lips and round face, how his body was covered in cuts and bruises that were turning red, yellow, a big one close to his ribs was blue and green, and San felt nauseous, seeing this all over again. He felt the tears fall on his cheeks, at the same time tears fell down younger San's.

The boy has had frightened eyes, expecting eyes, as if he had been waiting for San to hurt him. The later only kneeled, ignoring the scared call of his friends whom had stepped away from the cage stinking and filled with hay.

“ _I'm not going to hurt you. I swear. I don't know if people already told you that, only to lie, but I promise I won't. I'm only a child, and I want to help you.”_

The boy had been chained, at the ankles, the wrists. San hadn't seen what made him a hybrid until he had came closer and San could see two black dragon wings breaking the skin at his shoulder blades, and how his canines looked more like fangs than actual teeth. The wings had such a nice color, almost looking like a pool of oil with many colorful reflects, the skin tensing between the bones looking like leather. His eyes had flashed a dangerous orange and his skin had taken a darker shade with scales appearing on his pale body, and San had understood with his friends' frightened gasp that he was ready to transform.

“ _You don't need to. I won't hurt you. If you want to then do it, but then people will hear us, and they'll hurt me. Probably the same way they hurt you ...”_

San had only been stating facts, never tried to guilt-shame the other into obeying, but it was how it had been seen, and the boy had gone back to his black eyes and white skin, a distressed sound at the corner of his lips.

“ _You don't like it here do you ?”_

The boy had shook his head vehemently.

“ _Me and my friends don't want to hurt you. We want to save you from the Red Queen.”_

At the mention of the wicked woman, the boy's throat had let out a growl that had reminded San of the one of an angry cat.

“ _We'll get you away. I promise we'll get you away. But we need you to agree, we won't take you anywhere you don't want to, alright ?”_

The boy had considered the question for seconds, clearly thinking about the pros and cons, and deciding that risking his life was worth it. His whole family and kind had been erased, and he didn't have anyone left to live for. Dying would actually be nice for him. So he nodded, but raised his locked hands to San's view to show him the problems.

“ _Crap, does any of you knows what to do about this ?”_ the human boy had turned around, seeing that only Yeosang had came closer. The Rose had been the only one that could help, and unlike what San had feared, he hadn't been too scared to help. 

He had slowly made his way into the smelly cage, to not startle the dragon hybrid, and had delicatly taken his thin wrists in his hands. It was obvious the boy what underfed, and San had been eager to save him and take care of him. Just like his mother did with stray dogs.

Yeosang had gently linked his fingers with the boy so he wouldn't back away when ivys slythered around the older's arms, and reached the locks of the shackles, working around a little until a familair clicking noise was heard. The shackles had fallen to the ground immediatly with a very loud metallic sound, and all of them stiffened, hoping no one had heard. Yeosang had moved around and did the same with the boy's ankles, and San had came to help him lift him and bring him on his feet.

“ _Is it alright if I touch you like this ?”_

A nod.

“ _We'll have to hurry and keep silent, can you do that ?”_

Another nod. He remembered how deep inside, he had also made himself the promise that he would get this boy's name. And he knew he had, he had the memory of it, he had succeeded in knowing the boy's name. But his mind only showed him a blank board. So he tried to not rush anything, and focused back on the memory.

They had gotten down the tower as silently but slowerly than when climbing it, but a new problem had come : Seonghwa and Hongjoong were nowhere in sight, and the guards had heard them, Jongho's diversion not effective for as long as they had hoped, dangerous spears pointed right at their little beings the second the last of them had gotten off the last stairs of the tower.

“ _Let the beast go and surrender ! Crowned Prince, step aside, those people are sentanced to die at dawn by the hand of the creature they're stealing !”_

He remembered the boy looking at him with a panicked and pained expression, and had wondered if it was from being caught, or the fact he was supposed to kill those who had been saving him at the moment. San remembered being angry at the guard for treating the boy like a posession :

“ _We're not stealing him ! He's not an object ! He doesn't want to live here anymore !”_

“ _Shut it boy ! The beast is the Queen's property ! If you don't drop him we will kill you !”_

“ _No !”_

Seonghwa's brother had stepped in front of San, and in a second everything had gone rogue. San re-watched with the same fear and confusion how the scene had displayed. The guard had straight up wanted to stab San, but Seonghwa's brother had prevented that to happen and without knowing it yet, started to whole revolution. Upon hearing his brother's scream of pain, Seonghwa had came up from where he had been hiding with Hongjoong behind the thick furr of the Bandersnatch, throwing the beast on the remaining guards.

He had mounted it like a man would mount a horse, the White Rabbit curled up in a white ball in his arms, and had came to the little group of stray kids :

“ _Hurry get up there !”_

“ _Seonghwa ! Lead them out of the castle and stay with them ! It's safer if you're not in the castle !”_

“ _What about you ?! I can't leave you !”_

“ _I'll be fine !”_ the grunt of pain hadn't been really convincing, but the Bandersnatch was fidgetting, only waiting for the order to bounce. _“I have a plan, stay with the boys and I'll come for you once everything is safe !”_

The guards had stayed frozen after one of them hurted the Crowned Prince, the only person the Red Queen loved that wasn't herself, and had left more than enough time for the boys to climb on the Bandersnatch, the dragon boy wrapping hands and legs around San like a koala to a tree, Yeosang helping support them both.

As soon as Seonghwa had given the order, the creature had jolted forwards, making all the boys gasp or yelp and forcing them to stick their torso to its back if they didn't want to fall. All they could hear was the screams of the guards, alongside the rest of the castle waking up. Mingi had been seating right behind Seonghwa and led him to a little house hiding right at the edge of the forest behind his family house. It was his own little hiding place, so neither his siblings nor parents would come and annoy them here.

It had taken them the whole night to go the opposite direction, still a long road but faster thanks to the creature than on foot. The boy had fallen asleep in San's arms, and the later remembered how he had felt his heart beat faster at the constatation that the boy had trusted him enough to fall asleep in his arms. Or maybe it had only been exhaustion, he had never known, but remembering now, San guessed the boy had really trusted him with his life from the moment they had met.

Once they had finally arrived at Mingi's playhouse, they discovered a giant version of a tree house but a smaller version of an actual house. They hadn't been surprised to see the inside was as original as its owner : colorful, peticular objects on display a little everywhere on the furnitures and around the place. Tired and still scared after everything that had happened, they had to act fast. They had cleaned the wound of the boy the sweetest way possible, sighting in relief when he only stired in his sleep, and put him in a warm bed filled with blankets. He hadn't let go of San though, and he remembered how it had embarrassed him.

“ _He'll cling to you now, you're his savior,”_ had smiled Yeosang. 

“ _Like a lost duck that found a mommy.,”_ Jongho's voice was sleepy from his spot on the Rose's head.

“ _I don't think he sees me as a mother ...”_

“ _Probably not, but he'll be more comfortable around you. You're the only one with Yeosang that touched him and didn't show much fear. It'll take longer to warm up to us,”_ had explained Seonghwa, the oldest. 

He had a warm smile and gentle eyes, unexpected from someone whom had lived with the Red Queen if you had asked anyone but San, but he had saved Hongjoong's life and helped them escape, and he had been in exil with them too.

“ _Thank you for your help tonight Seonghwa.”_

“ _Don't thank me, I only did was I felt right.”_

“ _I'm sorry for your brother, I hope he'll be alright ...”_

Yunho's words had turned Seonghwa's eyes dark, and even if they had seen Hongjoong's tiny hands take one of the blond, none had commented, knowing better.

The two eldest had decided to take the very big and comfortable couch, the four left sharing the two other rooms.

“ _How big is that house ?”_ San was deep in the blankets with the boy in his arms, but he remembered Jongho's voice from the depth of his sleepy mind. He wasn't sure if he remembered the answer, but of what his memories told him, Yeosang and Jongho had shared a room and Yunho had shared Mingi's bed with the red-haired, and they had kept the rooms this way during the rest of San's stay. 

After that, it was also a blur for the eight boys. The dragon boy never talked, only making little noises that was the only way of knowing he wasn't a mute, and had indeed clinged to San a lot. He had gotten used to all of them. His wings and other wound had healed well, and once he was cleaned he had appeared even more beautiful in San's eyes. San cursed himself for not being able to remember the boy's name, feeling it on the tip of his tongue.

San's mind focused on a memory that happened two days after : the boy had started to talk, but no name yet.

“ _San,”_ he had called, surprising everyone in the room. Eyes wide, the called one had looked at him, clearly expecting to hear more. _“San, San, Sannie, Sannie !”_

“ _Yes ... yeah that's me ! I'm Sannie !”_ he had laughed and smiled so wide his dimples had showed, and the boy had made a noise of surprise, tackling San on the ground to pock the dimples with the tip of his claws, very focused and carefull to not hurt San. He remembered staying frozen, looking at the beautiful and pretty boy on top of him, feeling his heart trying to jump out of his chest. The others had been smiling and laughing, happy to finally see evolution.

The boy had then proceeded to learn all their names, and bat his wings in the fresh wind outside. He had refused to wear a shirt - his wings making it a little complicated anyway - or shoes, and was wearing loose pants that had fitted Mingi a long time ago, and fell on the boy's pale hips.

They still had no news of Seonghwa's brother, and the later was growing more worried every day. Mingi had to return home when his parents had came back, and he had ran back to them yelling that a rebellion was happening at the castle, led by some guards and servants, and it was growing more day by day. Without her pet, the Red Queen had a hard time stopping the coup d'état, and apparently people had seen the Queen's son riding the Bandersnatch with the clear actions of helping the rebels and not stopping them.

(The Bandersnatch had indeed went back to the castle after their arrival, Seonghwa ordering the beast to help his brother.)

It's after this day that things started to get complicated. San furrowed his brows, trying to remember what had been the starting point, and it felt like a light switching in his mind when the memory came back : the boy had nightmares. Violent ones. Ones that almost made him transformed into a dragon during his sleep. Ones that scared San and woke the whole house because of the boy's heart-breaking scream of agony. San had been the only one able to calm him down. The only one that could manage the boy's fury when something might have been triggering him during the day.

It always ended in tears from both parts, the six other looking at them powerless and frustrated, feeling utterly useless. Slowly everyone had grown into pairs and spend their day together this way. Yeosang had been mostly taking showers or staying in the sun, living his flower life with Jongho at his side as much as possible. San had memories of Yeosang's giggles turning into laughers at something the younger said, and endless afternoon playing with the Cheshire Cat in the garden. He had memories of Mingi being pushed out of the kitchen by an anxious Seonghwa, the red-haired pouting to Yunho and leaving it to the Caterpillar to comfort him with a cup of tea or a good game or tarot. He had memories of Hongjoong always going to help Seonghwa in the end, and both eldest playing mom and dad with the six younger boys, making San forget about his actual parents as his mind had been everywhere else but where it was supposed to.

The boy's episode had started to grow more numerous unlike what they hoped, and it had been really hard to keep him under control. Especially one day before Seonghwa's brother found them. The boy had turned into a whole-ass - baby - dragon, as tall as the house, throat lighting up in purple, threatening to spill fire on them.

“ _Calm down ! Nothing will hurt you here ! It's only us here ! Only San, Sannie ! You remember me right ? I helped you, we all did ! We don't wish to harm you, we only want to help. Please-”_ San had been cut rather violently by a hit the boy had thrown at him, and he dodged but barrely, still getting three deep claws mark on his arm, a noise of pain errupting from him the second it happened. 

The dragon had frozen, and Seonghwa had screamed San's name, running to him to inspect the wound. Without missing a beat San had looked deep into the orange eyes of the creature, seeing the regret and guilt inside, and before either of them could do or say anything, the boy had flown away.

San's call had been ignored, and it had been a rough nights for the boys. San had felt guilty, and hurt, not understanding what had happened and why he had been hurted. Seonghwa's brother had finally came to them, led by the Bandersnatch, and San had felt a deep relief, understanding for the first time in days that this time, everything would be alright.

The Red Queen had been overthrowned, and killed, after days of fighting. What had happened had been very simple : after being injured by some the guards, Seonghwa's brother had made him and the others a proposition : either they could help him destroy the Queen and end her reign of tyranny, or he would denounce them as the ones who had freed the Jabberwocky, made the Bandersnatch escape with him, and freed the prisoners from the cells. In other words, he would have accused them of all the things  _he_ had done. But as the Queen's son, she would believe him and not some random guards she could cut the head off anytime she wanted. 

The guards had been quick to chose : when the sun had started to show its first color, the word had been passes :  _Done with the Bloody big head_ . 

It was obvious her reign was coming to an end anyway, otherwise finding rebels and actually resisting wouldn't have been as fast, easy and efficiant.

“ _Where is she now ? We can't let her live, she'll manage to sweet-talk peolpe into doing what she wants,”_ had pointed out Seonghwa. The boy suggesting murder on the own woman who raised him was a bit harsh on all of them, but Seonghwa had grown up in a castle where heads adorned the walls after all ...

“ _The Jabberwocky ... I don't know what happened with you, he must've gone while you were sleeping ... He saved my life and took hers. She's dead, he killed her. I think it was cathartic for him ... He hasn't turned back to a boy though, and people are used to be scared of him, so he flee away again.”_

“ _Where is he ?!”_ San had been on his feet in a second, ready to cross through the whole country if necessary. 

“ _Last time someone saw him, he was near the old cemetary behind the castle.”_

“ _You have a cemetary behind the castle ?”_

“ _Yes, but far far behind. Mother had a giant chessboard built and would make the guards play when she was bored. The cemetary was the limit of the forest for the Jabberwockys territory. I guess he needed to go somewhere that felt like home ...”_

Seonghwa's brother had brought them back to the castle, Mingi meeting with his family there, Yeosang, Jongho and Seonghwa staying together, the eldest watching over the two youngest protectively. It was in trumoil, dozens of people from all the villages around and the land, Hongjoong and Yunho finding their families as well.

San had followed Seonghwa's brother behind the castle. There was indeed a chessboard on the little plateau right at the feet of the castle's hill. The forest was making the horizon's line, and it was very creepy and dark, even darker than the Hatter's forest. The fog was denser, the trees deader, and San had immediatly felt the cold wind through his clothes despite wearing his school's clothes.

He had walked alone to the cemetery, nervous with his heart beating fast, until he couldn't feel the marble of the chessboard anymore and his steps were choked by the dying grass under them. He saw between the damages graves a black shape, and could see the boy, hiding behind his wings. Coming closer San had heard a noise, that he soon identified as a whimper. It had broken his heart. Remembering it broke his heart now as well, but he knew this was the finale point of his memories' recovery.

The boy could almost disappear in the setting with how dark it was, despite the sun shining bright. He must had heard San, because his head had rosen slightly and the tired orange eyes had widened in fear and regret, the dragon standing onto his legs and trying to stay away from the human boy. But the later had refused to let that happen. San might had been a boy lost in his own thoughts, but if there was something he always was, it was stubborn !

“ _Please don't ! I don't know why you ran away last night, and I don't want to know if you don't want to tell me ! But please don't disappear once more ! I was ...”_ San had gulped, tears threatening to fall on his cheeks. That had astonished the boy, whom had stopped any movement that could betray his wish of leaving, and stood still to listen to San, as if he couldn't beleive someone could cry not because of him, but _for_ him. _“I was worried about you. I didn't-_ we _didn't know where you went, and you were alone, and then this morning Seonghwa's brother comes to us and tell us you killed the Queen ...”_

If the dragon could've swallowed loudely, he would have.

“ _I understand, I mean I don't really because I've never been to what you went through, but I've been hurt by people before, and I know that sometimes, you want to hurt them back for what they did to you. But I've learned about you these last few days and I ... I know you're not like that ! I know you didn't want to kill her, so please ! Don't keep your feelings bottled up ! It won't do you any good ! You have the right to be scared, or angry, or sad ! You have the right to feel bad, but don't be alone ! Don't_ stay _alone !”_

And the boy couldn't believe his ears. San and he had had a deep connection since the first day, almost like soulmates. When he hadn't been talking very much, San still understood everything he had wanted to say but couldn't, and when he finally could, they had spent endless hours learning about eachother. They had been connected. They had known the other better than they knew themselves.

So when the boy turned back into a boy, naked as he had ripped his loose pants when transforming, San took his uniform jacket off without a word, and let the silver-haired stumbled into his arms, drapping him into the cloth, both faling on their knees. It had been a heart-breaking moment. The boy had started crying, but not sobs, no, real cries, that had shaken his small and frail body with violent jolts, his voice breaking in his throat as he let it out loudly. San hadn't mind, his own tears falling soundlessly on his cheeks, one of his hands on the boy's back, the other lost in his hair, as the younger had his fists tight around San's shirt. The boy had been trying to curl himself on San, almost sitting on his lap, hiding himself from everything that wasn't the human boy.

Then, once he was calmed down, he had told exactly everything San suspected : he had ran away because he had accidentally hurted him the day before, and enraged by the monster the Queen had made of him, he could only see and wish for blood, and so he flee to where he knew she'd be. He killed her without losing a second, without remorse. He had felt bad for it now, crying in San's arm like the 11 year old fragile boy he was, and San had been here to make him feel better. San had been here to tell him everything would be alright, that he wouldn't have to lose control in his episodes anymore because San would always be here for him, no matter what. San had told him that he loved him, and more than he loved all the others.

“ _Sannie loves you,”_ he had said childishly, to lighten up the boy's mood. 

“ _Wooyoung,”_ he had heard it whispered, not really knowing what to do. 

“ _Hu ?”_

“ _My name. Wooyoung. Sannie loves Wooyoung. And Wooyoung loves Sannie.”_

And when Wooyoung had finally stopped crying, San had delicatly brushed the tears off with his thumbs, hands on each side of the boy's face. They had stood so close their breath mixed, and they hadn't cared, because as shyly and gently, Wooyoung had laid a little, innocent peck on San's lips, and San had kissed Wooyoung back. They were only 11, but they had figured it all out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So reminder of everyone's role :  
> San as Alice  
> Hongjoong as the White Rabbit  
> Yeosang as the Rose  
> Jongho as the Cheshire Cat  
> Mingi as the Mad Hatter  
> Yunho as the Caterpillar  
> Seonghwa as the Red Queen (in the present time of course)  
> Wooyoung as the Jabberwocky
> 
> Everyone's role was inspired by Bookstheories video on YT, you should def' check her out she has really interesting theories !


	3. Third Chapter : Meeting Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say here. I might extend the fic to a fifth chapter, but it won't be longer than that. Do tell me if you wish to see a prequel to this story based on the previous chapter.  
> Hope you'll like it,  
> Enjoy !

San gasped when he woke, jumping in a sitting position before he realised he already was. Wind brushed his hair, trees moved around him, and he felt something soft under his hands. Looking down he saw grey fur and was confused for a few more seconds.

“Ah Sannie, back with us ! So... do you remember ?”

If it was Hongjoong in front of him, then it was Yunho's voice whispering in his ear, and his arms around his waist. San blinked away the rest of the mental smoke the Caterpillar had blown in his mind, and realised they were all on the Bandersnatch, and Yunho had been holding him to prevent from falling when he was passed out.

“Wooyoung,” only said San, incapable to form another thought.

Hongjoong turned from his place in front of him to look at San with wide eyes, and the boy felt Yunho froze behind him.

“You remember,” it wasn't a question.

“We saved him, he was so hurt and lost and oh my god I left him,” San had only needed a minute to connect the dots. Hongjoong's words came back to his mind and he felt a wave of guilt in his heart.

_Ever since San left last time he wasn't the same_

Oh what had happened to Wooyoung while he was away ? San remembered now, that he had to leave in a hurry because he was too young and had been in Wonderland for too long, making his body and mind tired. He was not dying, but he was too weak to live between two words at such a young age, and it was already a miracle he had survived so long (Mingi's family had said so). And so he had to go back, Seonghwa's brother giving him a drink to make him travel back. San had promessed an anxious Wooyoung that he would never forget him, that he would come back as fast as he could, that he'd come every day after school.

He never did.

He had broken that promise. Even if it wasn't his fault he couldn't help but feel responsible. At the time, it had been days since he last saw his parents, and unlike what he thought, time worked exactly the same way down there and back up.

So when he came back after two weeks, asleep under the oak-tree, his parents had immediatly called a doctor and a therapist to figure out what had happened. San knew his parents wouldn't believe him, but he still tried to told them, in vain. Drugs test had been run on him afterwards, of course coming clean, and so the therapist had suggested to the Choi family that it was better if San had no memory of that week. The medications had made sure of that. His mother was particulalry eager for him to forget, while his father had stayed silent, from what he could remember.

San had never been angry at his family. He never had a reason too, and they never got a reason to be angry at him either.

But right now ? San was feral.

Because of them he had forgotten everything about the second life he had, forgotten everything about the only people he had ever cared for outside his family, and even the first one he loved with all his heart. 11 might have been a young age, too young maybe, to know about love, but remembering everything now and it only made sens to San. Why he had never felt any attraction to anyone after, why kissing someone made him feel guilty, as if he was cheating. His heart wasn't his anymore, it hadn't been his for ten years. And he couldn't take anyone's heart, he already had one that took all the place in his chest.

_Wooyoung_

He choked on a sob, closing his eyes and letting the tears run free. He felt Yunho's arms closing tighter around his frame, Mingi's own patting his head, while Hongjoong looked at them as best as he could with hurt eyes.

“We're sorry San ...”

“I-I left him f-for so many y-years, I ... oh god I'm a monster,” he was tripping on his words and his sobs made it hard to understand. Yunho was quick to reply :

“It's not your fault San. You said it yourself and you probably remember everything now, it wasn't your fault you forgot. Now you're here and you remember. You're older, we all are-”

“Where is he ? If it's fine that I was gone for so long, why isn't he here with you ? Why did Hongjoong talked about him as if he was hurt ?” San was angry at himself, and inconsolable.

None of them answered, and his voice dropped deeper.

“Answer me.”

“We'll soon be at the castle San, it's better to talk there, you won't be able to do anything right here and now,” cut in Hongjoong, using a leader voice.

“I just need to know, is he alive ?”

Yunho and Mingi excanged worried glances, and the red-haired hesitantly answered :

“For now, yes he is ...”

San felt like a fist was closing around his heart and he couldn't do anything but stare at the landscape around him, head numb. He could see the outline of the Heart's Castle, Seonghwa's home - and now Hongjoong's too if he understood well - but the joy was tamed down.

The castle was whiter and less creepy than he remembered, the huge hedge walls around it filled with thousands colorful flowers, probably Yeosang's work, and it looked way more welcoming. A small smile made it's way on San's lips.

Hongjoong stopped the Bandersnatch right in front of the Castle's front door, opened to welcome to high sun and fresh wind, and they all got down. They reached the throne room, San walking through the corridors and taking in the new paintings hanging at the walls.

Seonghwa was standing in the middle of the room, passing back and forth, an arm bent behind his back, the other on his chest, his thumb's nail between his teeth, nibbling at it nervously.

He was gorgeous. When wasn't he ? Since they were kids Seonghwa had always been with Yeosang the living statues of the group. He was dressed all in red, because despite everything it meant, it was still the family's color, but when he wore it he looked like a doll, and not a murderer. He had a red shirt, unbuttoned enough to see the outline of his chest, red slacks with a thick back belt around his thin waist and black boots. The long coat he had above the rest was knee-long, with chains hanging on the left side from the lapel of the coat to the chest-pocket of his shirt. His blond hair were perfectly swipped to fall on his left eyes, as always, and he had a small red mark, a line crossing over his right eye. San hadn't remembered before, but Seonghwa had a scar under the red make-up, made by the Queen when he was a child, so he understood why he was covering it now.

The light coming from the big gothic-style window of the room catched on the golden ring at his finger, and a quick glance at Hongjoong's hand confirmed San that he had the same.

“Seonghwa !”

As soon as he heard his husband's voice, the Queen stopped passing and snapped his head towards the entrance. His eyes widened and a smile came on his lips as he started to walk to them, arms parting. Hongjoong was quick to act like the rabbit he was and jump into them, the Queen closing around his tiny husband and kissing him eagerly.

“Oh come on you saw eachother this morning !”

“Leave it Yunho, they won't listen anyway,” reminded Mingi bored.

They didn't kiss for a long time, just long enough to say hello, and then Seonghwa was back in his formal attire and acting like royalty. Until he saw San again :

“San ! I'm so happy to see you again it's been so long !” he seemed to hesitate to come closer though, probably aware about San's memory issues.

“I remember Seonghwa, it's fine.”

He had an armful of the Queen the next second. It was a good change, he didn't remember the blond being so touch-starving and open with skinship. He was much colder and distant as a child, but ten years after getting rid of the former Red Queen did that to someone.

“You're glowing,” pointed out San, happy to see his friend so open.

“Thank you, you're smile is as bright as it has always been !” replied Seonghwa, making the younger smile even wider, and all cooed when they saw the dimples showing.

“Where are Yeosang and Jongho ?” asked Yunho looking around.

“They're still at the cemetery, Yeosang ... is afraid to come back to a still amnesic San ...” answered the Queen with a sad smile.

San felt his heart clench further more in his chest, but before he could say anything, Hongjoong cut in :

“I'll go get them. I know you probably remember that Wooyoung's safe place is behind the castle, but somethings ... changed. We need you to know everything that had been going on while you where gone before you see him.”

He waited until San nodded before turning into a rabbit and hopping away. Seonghwa turned to the others and gracefully bend down slightly, an arm pointing to double doors on their left.

“Please, let's go to the Tea room.”

“Tea ? Hell yeah !”

“Mingi ! Don't spill it everywhere it's the castle here !”

“I know how to serve tea !”

“No you don't !”

Mingi and Yunho had rushed to the room, leaving San and Seonghwa alone, not that it bothered them. San knew he'd need to be patient, and decided to let his curiosity for what happened between his friends be satisfied :

“So ! You and Hongjoong ?”

It was funny to see a deep red settle on Seonghwa's cheeks. He was still so shy about relationships.

“What about us ?”

“Once I remembered everything, I wasn't surprised to learn you had gotten together, but husbands ? That's a big step.”

“I know, do you think it was too fast ?” Seonghwa seemed genuinely concerned about San's opinion on the matter, and the boy guessed that some habits were hard to get rid off.

“Seonghwa, it doesn't matter what I think, what matters is that both you and Hongjoong were ready. You were right ?”

“Yes of course, it happened naturally and both of us just saw it as a normal glow up of our relationship.”

“Then I don't think it's too fast,” San had a gentle smile, and he answered the question because he knew that Seonghwa wouldn't sleep well otherwise. “Who proposed ?”

“Will it be a surprise if I say him ?”

“I would've bet on you, but I'm not startled it was actually Hongjoong. Both of you have the tendancy to think things through way too much, but he does it way much more intensely than you, and so often ends up throwing things through the window and go with the flow.”

“I don't ?”

“Not as fast as him.”

Seonghwa stopped right in the doorframe, a fond smile on his lips and San was brought back to the time they were kids, the feeling of being watched by a parent coming back to him. San had the urge to hug the older again, and he must've sensed it because his arms were already opened to welcome the human.

San nuzzled into his arms, nose in the red lapel, and innhaled deeply the scent of leather, flowers and _home_.

“I'm so happy to be back hyung.”

“And we're more than happy to have you back Sannie.”

San knew they'd need to talk about his own world, but not now. Now he had to know how everyone had lived its life, how Wonderland had changed and most importantly, how Wooyoung had evolved.

A valet all dressed in black came and broke them appart by clearing his throat.

“Your Majesty ?”

“Yes ?”

“Sire Hongjoong came back, Master Yeosang and Master Jongho at his side.”

“Very well, send them in the Tea room, Yunho and Mingi are already there and San and I were about to join them.”

“I will,” he bowed deeply and took his leave. It was way different to San than the time even the valets and servants were heavily armored and ready to chop someone's head off with their teeth.

Entering the room, they saw that indeed, everyone but them and Wooyoung was here, Yunho and Mingi sitting on a couch, Yeosang on a single sofa and Jongho on the other, Hongjoong waiting on the armrest of the biggest sofa in the room - Seonghwa's - and an empty place next to Mingi on the couch waiting for San. He noticed another sofa that would be left empty, and he tried to not think about who it was for.

Yeosang raised wet eyes at him, a little puffy and red, full of hope and expectations. San dropped on his knees in front of him, and took him in his arms.

“Hey Yeosangie, how do flowers speak ?”

The older thought he would cry again and hugged San back with as much strenght.

“You remember,” breathed the honey-haired.

“I do. I'm sorry, I promise I will fix this mess,” Yeosang had been the one closest to Wooyoung after San, both immediatly connecting on a friendship kind of soulmate.

“We need to give San the time to accustom to the changes that had been going around since he left, I'm sorry to ask this of you but please refrain from talking about Wooyoung until he's ready to see him.”

Yeosang looked ready to protest but Jongho's head taking his shut him down. San added :

“He's right. I'm just like my 11 year old me, but with friends.”

He sat next to Mingi and thanked the red-haired for the cup of tea he served him, and Seonghwa did the same, one hand holding his cup elegantly while the other lost itself on Hongjoong's waist.

“So, what happened to y'all while I was away ?”

They all looked at eachother and Hongjoong cleared his throat.

“I think it's better to start with the beginning,” he had been speaking to Seonghwa more peculiarly, the older catching on what the rabbit meant.

“After you left, my brother made sure to burn every law the former Red Queen had installed. He made his own, alongside loyal advisers, and made Wonderland a safer place. The tyranny ran by the old hag finally came to an end, but of course she had followers, and peace was not an option for as long as they would run free. It took him three years to finally clean the country of all ennemies, and once it was done, he had to build everything she had destroyed. Entire villages, holly buildings, he even leveled up the oldest ones. We have a small people, but we have to take care of it.”

He took a sip of his tea, everyone hanging at his lips, even the ones who knew the story already.

“My brother was elected Red King, despite his will of changing the royalty for something more ... diplomatic. The people refused.”

“A King was not the problem, nor was a Queen. The problem had been whom it was. We trusted the Park family enough to be sure they wouldn't follow in the Queen's footsteps. The older one I mean,” said Yunho.

“The Park ?” asked San raising both his brows to Seonghwa.

“My family name. My brother took it after the Queen died, thinking it would be better to have a change of family in the royalty if he was to be King. As you can guess I was still the Prince, and I helped in the villages as much as possible. Hongjoong helped me a lot too, and that's how we grew closer. The others came to visit too, Yeosang coming when the Season would let him, but we would often go to his field in winter, chatting and spending time together under his flower.”

“I could never participate, but I always knew you were there. It makes be bloom sooner at the end of Winter ever since.”

“I'm glad to see you all kept contact,” smiled the human genuinely.

“We do. We party for everyone's brithday and try to meet as much as possible. For events of course, but also to get news. We have our own places to be, but we always take three weeks during the year that we spend at the castle with Seonghwa and Hongjoong.”

“Hongjoong moved in ?”

“After we got engaged yes. That was three years ago, almost four now. My family was a little worried that I would be so far away, but being in the castle didn't disturb my natural cycle either,” answered the rabbit.

“He still does like Yeosang and goes to sleep every winter. White Rabbits awaken sooner than Roses though,” smiled the Queen.

“It's always fun to come and see how both wake up. Hongjoong is always burried under a dozen pile of blankets in Seonghwa's bed, and Yeosang could almost look younger every year if we didn't have the proof he actually ages !” laughed heartly Mingi, followed by the others.

“When did you get married ?” asked San.

“My brother changed a lot of laws, but he couldn't change the one saying I had to be crowned to get married.”

“But, you were the Prince ?”

“Not the crowned one. I was not the Queen's remember ? She never had me crowned officially like my brother, and we didn't thought it was necessary. Until the wedding. My brother straight up told me to take the throne.”

“Really ?!”

“He had his own wish to build a castle a little further on the West Side of the Hatter's forest, while we're at North here. He settled there, with his own people and rythme of life. He needed change. He had seen way worse in this castle than I had, but even after having the interior entirely changed, he could still see blood on the walls if you see what I mean ...”

“I do ... So what, he gave up his title ?”

“He wanted to,” laughed Seonghwa. “The people never let him. He became the White King, as his own land is but the purest white, surrounded by the Snow of Marmoreal. Nothing to do with the harrid desert we have here at Salazen Grum.”

“And you decided to become Queen ?”

“I thought it'd be a good idea. I didn't want the people to be frightened by the possibilty that one day, the throne would be a woman's again. And for me, the Red King's title belong to my brother, even if he doesn't want it. Of course I didn't impose anything, and left the choice to the village's president. The people agreed and I was crowned Red Queen two years ago.”

“We married a month after. We wished you were here. It was such a beautiful wedding ! Seonghwa's brother helped and it was all in white and red color, with drops of black to unify everything,” Hongjoong had this dreamy look in his eyes, and San too, wished he had been there.

Talking about weddings made him think about his sister's, but he pushed the thought aside. Now was not the time.

“Jongho sang the most beautiful words during the ceremony, and Yeosang had decorated the alley, benches, and ground with thousands of flowers more colorful than the other !”

Seonghwa smiled to, all of them did, memories of a happy event taking place in their heart, and San swallowed all their descriptions, almost seeing himself there.

“Mingi had made way too much pastries, and yes it was for a wedding !” laughed Yunho.

“It's not my fault if they were too much ! Me and my family are a lot of people, we're used to make food for an army !”

“That for sure. But it was nice, we invited the guards and servants to take a bite too. It would be a shame to have waste all that food,” added the Queen.

“What did you do Yunho ?”

“I married them.”

San choked on his tea for a quick second, everyone smiling or giggling, understanding his surprise.

“You have this kind of power ?!”

“I do, remember they came to me everytime you arrived. Us Caterpillars are the knowledge of the land. We are often seeked for answers and advices.”

“That's why his head is so big, it's full of secrets,” mubbled Mingi from inside his cup, whispering the last words very loudly.

Yunho whacked him and the red-haired choked too. San laughed and turned to Yeosang and Jongho.

“So Yeosangie, how did your eyes went from the deep purple of first love, to the coral of desire when looking at our dear Cheshire over there ?”

Both turned a deep red, obviously not expecting something so blunt from the smirking boy.

“I should've never teach you about my language,” pouted the flower.

“Oh come on ! You should be proud I remember all of it !”

“Not if you're going to use it against me !”

“Hey easy there, just answer the question,” cut in Hongjoong with a laugh.

“We had actually started dating a little before you left ...”

San's eyes widened and he jolted from his sitting position to a standing one, finger pointed at the couple.

“You hid it ! How !”

“We were kids San, it was nothing more than holding hands and falling asleep in the same bed !” replied Jongho.

“Until you were 16~” reminded Mingi, singing.

“Shut it !”

“I will not ! You ruined my childhood's treehouse !”

“You ruined it first ! You think we don't know what you did with Yunho in there ?!”

“Oh god why is my name popping out !”

“We did nothing wrong !” complained the Hatter.

“How many times did I came with Hongjoong only to close the door in a hurry because we heard very weird noises !” Mingi gasped at Jongho's accusation.

“You slept in Seonghwa's room and we walked in on you ! It's worse !”

Now Yeosang had turned entirely white and snapped his head to Seonghwa and Hongjoong with his mouth open and his eyes wide. It was clear that the eldests had no idea of this incident if their shocked face was anything to go by.

“You did what ?!” yelled the rabbit.

“Oh god my sheets, I have to burn them,” face-palmed the Queen.

“Oh come one you did a handjob to Hongjoong on your own wedding's dinner !” Yeosang had decided to bite back, and clearly it was not going to be soft.

“Oh my god,” mumbled the rabbit while Seonghwa turned the same color as his clothes.

“You were seen in the middle of the forest !” he threw back.

“Yunho and Mingi too !”

“Hey ! He blowed Jongho under the table at your birthday party !” another gasp, one of shock and the other of betrayal.

San had sit back down, enjoying the tea, sipping on it as figurativly as he did literally.

“I can see you all have a very active sexual life. That's not really what I came here for though, so TMI guys.”

They all calmed down, understanding San had enough black mails for three life times now, and went back to relationships.

“When did Yunho and Mingi started then ?” both male choked and looked awkwardly at eachother.

“We didn't-”

“It's not like that-”

“We're not really-”

“It's just for fun and-”

“Yeah like no strings attached y'know ?”

San eyed them suspiciously, one brow raised, his cup frozen between his lips and his saucer.

“Rrright, that was super clear, thanks.”

Yunho and Mingi exchanged another embarrassed glance before hiding into their cups.

“And you Sannie ?” suddenly asked Seonghwa, with no mischief or malevolence.

“Me ?”

“Yeah, what did you do after you left ? We know the world doesn't work the same way up there.”

“I ... I kept going on with my life. I finished school, then High School. I applied for Seoul University of Arts and got in.”

“A University ?”

“That's where you learn something more centered and specific on what you want to do. Shool is more generic, you learn about lots of everything. Universities are specialised.”

“What did you specialised in ?”

“Dance. And singing.”

“Really ? Oh I'm going to teach you a dance of our world then ! It's going to be so fun !” exclamed the Hatter with enthusiasm.

“Sure, what is it called ?”

“Futterwack !”

“Futter- ... what ?”

“The futterwack ! I'll show you !” dismissed Mingi with a hand gesture.

“How is your sister ?” Ah Yeosang, always one to remember details.

“She's fine. Pregnant, of a fews months. Her wedding is tomorrow actually ...”

That kind of sent a cold wave. This, even for them, was an important event. San had his sister's wedding just a day after they had found him again, and they all clearly tensed at what it meant.

“T-tomorrow ?” stuttered the Rose.

“I don't want to think about it now Yeosang, but yes tomorrow, and I will have to be present. I can't miss her wedding day.”

“No no of course not but-”

“We'll talk about it afer Yeosang,” repeated Seonghwa. “Don't stress over the matter too much. We're older, wiser and with more capabilities than we were 10 years ago.”

“Yes, I know ...”

“Despite this little, disturbance, is there anything else we should know that could be a problem between you and Wooyoung ?”

There, his name was spoken again. It was rather harsh and Hongjoong turned with a face of disapproval to Seonghwa whom didn't live San's eyes.

“I'm not sure I understand ...” he was genuine.

“Do you have someone in your life ? Someone you care about, that you would want to see again ?”

Oh. OH. Seonghwa asked if he was in a relationship ! That made sens. As genuinely, the human answered :

“Wooyoung. I want to see Wooyoung again.”

Seonghwa's eyes narrowed : “That's not what-”

“I know. But that's the only thing I can answer because it's true. I've never been in a relationship in my life. I never could. I didn't know until now, but I always had Wooyoung in a part of my heart. He never left it, and I never wished for anyone else.”

The Queen's eyes had softened, Yeosang let out a relief sigh he didn't know know he had been holding, and all the others looked at him with knowing gazes.

“I think you're ready to know how Wooyoung did those past years,” decided Yeosang, approved by everyone. “Do you remember his episodes ?”

“His anger crises ? I do. I didn't remember either but he hurted my during his last one,” he laid a hand on his arm that still bore the three scars of Wooyoung's claws like a reflexe.

“It wasn't his last one,” said the Rose, shaking his head.

“They had gone better after the Queen died, but the day after you left, he almost burned the castle down because of a nightmare,” Hongjoong slid from the armest to Seonghwa's lap.

“The people were afraid of him, even if they knew he wouldn't hurt them, and Wooyoung didn't take it well. He only saw people being afraid of him for what he was and not was he had been turned into by the Queen. We kept him hidden for a while, until his crises got more violent,” Seonghwa's eyes were filled with sadness.

“More violent ? As in ?”

“He almost killed Yeosang.”

San could only look at the boy with the hope he would deny, but he didn't. He looked guilty and down on his joined hands in Jongho's, and San's heart clenched.

“No,” he breathed.

“He didn't do it on prupose ! He never wanted to ! During his crises he wasn't himself, he could only feel pain and was stuck in his own head !” defended the honey-haired.

“We know that babe, calm down, no one is accusing Wooyoung of anything. Sannie too knows Wooyoung would never hurt us purposelly,” soothed the Cheshire Cat.

“When did that happened ?”

“Barely a month after you left. Wooyoung had a hard time going up the hill, but like a rock he slide off very easily,” Seonghwa's voice, again. “After he asked to stay away, we built for him a small house near the cemetary. We tried to find you, but Hongjoong never found the portal to your home.”

“The few times I did, you were nowhere to be seen, and I couldn't chase after you through town. This isn't my world, I risked my life out there,” added the rabbit.

“Was it enough ? The house ?”

Yunho crossed sight with Seonghwa and sighed.

“No. It lasted only two years, then he went rogue again.”

“Rogue ? How ?”

“He destroyed nearly half of my forest, and burned down an abandoned part of the old village, but it still scared everyone to the core,” answered Mingi. “Yeosang had came to visit that time, and we found him burried under the ruins of the house. He was unconscious but fortunatly not heavily unjured,” the red-haired's eyes turned to look at the Rose discreetly, Jongho's hand tightening its hold.

“He was impossible to calm down. He stayed in dragon form for a whole month, but was completely drained and close to death once he became human again. We had to heal him in urgence to make sure he wouldn't pass away ... We were so scared San,” the Queen's eyes betrayed the deep happiness he felt from seeing San with them.

It was a lot to take in for the human boy, and he felt himself going worst the more they talked. He had been going on with his life as if nothing had happened, while Wooyoung suffered down here all these years. He didn't deserve the Dragon.

“Then he disappeared.”

“He what ?!” his head snapped to look at Jongho.

“He disappeared. It took us three months to put him back on his feet, and once he realised what had happened, he went away.”

“For how long ?!”

They all looked at eachother again, wondering if they should tell him or not.

“Guys !” he pleaded.

“Four years.”

San stopped functionning. _Four_ _years_ ?

“Where did he go ?”

“He never told us. We never knew anything. The only thing we knew is that he came back in a terrible shape. Not close to death but ... he had lost a lot of weight, he was clearly sleep-deprived, and his mental state hadn't improved. If anything he was darker, more absent and lonelier. We tried to be here for him as much as we could. But when someone pushes you away, it's hard to stay. But we kept being there for him, all of us, one after the other.”

_Depressed._ That's what Wooyoung was. Depressed. And it's not something one could heal alone, San knew it better than anyone. 

“Did he ever ... spoke ? About what he felt, or thought ?”

They all looked rather lost, but Yunho spoke up.

“To us no. But Yeosang was always the one he was closest too after you, we told you already.”

“Did he say anyhing to you ?”

Yeosang's nod was a blessing for San.

“ _You_. What he felt, thought was ... you. He was scared you had forgotten about him. He was scared you didn't care about any of us, and because of him you got scared away. He went through different phases. Three months after he came back, it was guilt. He was sure he was the reason you weren't trying to come back. He was sure you wanted to forget all about us, or even move away. Hongjoong often told him that he was sure you were still living in that house, but Wooyoung was never one to believe things he couldn't see. So he didn't.” Yeosang licked his lips nervously. “Then came denial. We couldn't mention you or he would get pissed and angry. You never existed and was only a fevered dream. He thought denying your existence would make it more barable for him. He wanted to hate you to not miss you.”

San secretely hoped it worked. He really hoped Wooyoung had found a way to cope with his pain.

“It worked ?”

“For a month. Then the final phase, the one he's been in for almost four years. Distress. He started calling for you at night, whining in his Dragon form. Seonghwa and Hongjoong heard him a lot from the castle, us not so much, but the few times we did, it broke our heart. He was crying San. He fell asleep crying for a good year before he was only heart-broken every night. We had a _quiet_ period, during six months with Seonghwa and Hongjoong's wedding in the middle, during which he was impossible to recognise. It was like the wedding had given him a new breath. He jumped everywhere, helped all of us with our task ; he was the one responsible for the rings.”

“I will never forget how bright he smiled when we asked him if he would take care of it for us,” remembered Hongjoong with a tender smile. “We really thought, _this is it_ , we have our Wooyoung back ! But it didn't last ...”

“He started losing control over his transformation. His mental state had gone too bad for him to control his body, and when he lost control on that too, that was the last straw for him. A year ago he chained himself up. Jabberwockys used these in anciant times when they still made human sacrifices. The chains are unbreakable, locked by the will of the ones who settled them. They are strong enough to restrict him even in his dragon form, and if it wasn't for us feeding him every day ...”

“He would be dead. That's why we thought we had lost him when you told us you didn't remember shit. It scared us to death,” said Yunho after a while.

Wooyoung was on the verge of dying. He was near death, had been for a very long time, way too long if you asked San, and all of it was his fault. Partially.

“We know what's going us inside that thick head of yours, and we refuse to let you think that. Wooyoung had PTSD and deep traumas, I'm sure that even you would've struggled at some point,” tried to ease Seonghwa, in vain.

“We'll never know that, it's useless to dwell on the past,” reminded Hongjoong.

“What are we still doing here ?”

“Hu ?”

“Wooyoung is in danger and we're all here, sipping tea in fancy sofas when he could be dying from his depression anytime ?! For fuck's sake where the fuck is he ?!”

They were all a little stunned, but San standing up aburptly and leaving the room snapped them back into the world.

“San- wait !” Yeosang was the first one to react.

“San ! You don't even know where he is !” pointed out Yunho.

“Then tell me ! Fuck you've been waiting for me for ten years and you lose time talking ?!”

“You had to know what had been going on, you needed to be prepared,” tried Seonghwa.

“Well I am fucking prepared, now tell me where he is !”

The Queen was fortunatly not outraged by San's vulgarity, and barely blink when he called for a servant.

“Your Highness needs something ?”

“Get the Bandersnatchs ready please.”

“Very well.”

San was startled for a second :

“The what now ? Plurar ? I thought it was the last of them ?!”

Seonghwa sighed.

“It wasn't. We thought so too, but we managed to find another one when my brother build his Castle in Marmoreal. We're trying to make sure the specy survives.”

“The Bandersnatchs are ready your Highness.”

“Thank you, let's go guys !” they all followed Seonghwa to the back of the castle, exactly were the road to the cemetery was. “Wooyoung's been hiding deep within the woods. You don't know this area as you didn't get to explore it last time, but it's way more crowded by nasty beasts, and almost impossible to reach on foot. He's been resting on a sacrifical altar. That's the only place he could find the chains he needed.”

The Queen was quick and elegant to ride the Bandersnatch, reaching a hand to San. Hongjoong took the lead with the second one, Yunho and Mingi behind him, while Yeosang and Jongho climbed behind San.

With a tap on the neck both beasts started running, and San could only grab Seonghwa's waist, heart beating fast in his chest. He would bring Wooyoung back. He swore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seonghwa's Queen outfit is the same as this Hala Hala stage from the 190302 !


	4. Fourth Chapter : Are you Real ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry I'm a little later than I thought I would be, but University is starting again soon and I have to take care of a hundreds of things at once so I'm a bit ovewhelmed !   
> This fic will not be 4 but 5 chapters long, I'll right and post the last one as fast as possible.   
> I hope you'll like this chapter and if things feel like they're going a little fast, please remember that we only need to focus on what's important (I'm probably just being insecure about righting to less detailed chapters sorry for that). 
> 
> Enjoy !

It lasted only fifteen minutes, but San felt like it took forever to reach the hidden part of the forest he couldn't access.

_Wooyoung really burried himself deep in there ?_

Nothing looked welcoming. Even the crooked tree and dark fog he wasn't disturb by in the Hatter's forest looked deadly in this one, and San didn't have any problem with aknowledging this had been the Jabberwocky's territory when they were still a whole specy. He grabbed Seonghwa's waist tighter, like a child would do to their mother, afraid of facing a mistake they did. San will always feel at fault, even if Wooyoung told him word by word that it wasn't true.

The path was indeed an ankle breaker for human's legs, the Bandersnatchs big paws not having trouble at all to walk on the numerous rocks and other inequality of the ground. They almost reminded San of mountain's goat.

“Are we there yet ?” he asked, curious.

“It's right above the hill, you'll see it in a second,” assured Yeosang with a stern voice, gripping San's waist hard too.

“How did you and Jongho managed to come ?”

“I can teleport,” answered the Cat with a grin of his own.

He did remember, but bits by bits. When his memories crashed back he had the biggest and most important part of them, but now he started to remember the details too, and he was glad. He didn't feel that high needled pain everythime he thought back at his eleventh year of life, and it felt like breathing fresh air. He'd need to have a serious conversation with his mother once he'd get back though. His father didn't have a say to what medication San had, and it was useless to ge angry at a dead person anyway.

A particularly harsh jump of the Bandersnatch caught San off guard but thanks to Yeosang he didn't fell, only stumbling a little to sit back correctly on the beast, eyes and mouth opening wide when he saw the sight in front of him : he was torn between horror and amazement.

Wooyoung was kneeling on a very smooth black plateform, which was in the middle of the rocky and dangerous crevasse that was right after the hill. It was like a volcano. The side of the hill was hard to hike, and when you reached the top, you had to be carefull or you'd fall right back on the other side because of the hole. 

It felt like the most sarcastic metaphor of San's life. He had always felt a hole deep inside his heart, that he knew now came from his life in Wonderland, yet the only person that could fill this hole, was trapped in another, real one.

His heart clenched when he saw all the chains. They were everywhere, on Wooyoung, around him, tied to the ground, or trees, on high pillars that reminded San of Greek Temples. The sacrifical alter was protected by a metal barrier all around it, closed by two high and heavy doors.

“San ?” called Yeosang. He turned, only to see the flower untying the key that was hanging around his neck. “To open the doors. Please ... don't bring it back.”

San needed a second to understand what he meant, but when he did, he nodded slowly. Bringing the key back would mean Wooyoung was staying in this cage he built around himself, and that was not happening on San's watch. He couldn't see Wooyoung's face, the boy's back facing them, but he still saw how his weak body was hanging miserably forward, only standing because of the heavy chains wrapped around his torso, waist, thighs, neck, and arms. He wasn't bleeding, but he looked as pale as death, and San had to fight the urge to run to him. He would probably break an ankle and that wouldn't be productive.

So he carefully went down to the gates, paying close attention to the moving rocks under his feet, eyes looking at Wooyoung from time to time. The noise he made while coming down was enough to startle the dragon, but he didn't move.

San finally reached the gates, and opened them. Rusty and old, they sounded like thunder when he pushed them, having to use his whole weight to do so. That didn't made Wooyoung move either, but it made San huff.

Slowly, his footsteps making rocks tumble under his feet, he made his way in front of the silver-haired. The later had titled his head imperceptibly, not recognising to whom they belonged to. It was a better reaction than nothing.

San's hands were shaking, his whole body was actually, his heartbeat accelerated by the second, and he rubbed his fingers against his palms to try and take the wetness away. He kneeled in front of Wooyoung, one knee after the other to not hurt himself, but kept his hands to himself for the time being. He'd see what to do with them afterwards.

From afar he could feel everyone's gaze on him and saw them holding their breath.

“Wooyoung ?”

The boy froze. The chains made a little clicking noise when he did, body stiff despite the loose limbs. He kept his head low though, so their eyes didn't meet yet.

“Wooyoung ?” he called again, a little louder this time.

Finally he had a reaction, it was not one he wanted, but he didn't mind.

“No,” the younger croaked, voice clearly unused for a while. “No you're not- stop. Whatever this is you have to stop, it's cruel.”

“Hi Wooyoung. I'm sorry it took me so long. I-” it might not be a good idea to talk to Wooyoung about his amnesia right now, but he had no other idea to explain why he stayed away all these years. “I was kept away,” he said instead. “I'm sorry it took me so long, but I'm back now. I'm here-”

“Shut up ! Whoever you are just shut up ! You're not him ! You're not him !” his head had lifted but his eyes were shut closed, brows furrowed and tears threatening to escape his eyelids.

“Who am I not Wooyoung ? Who are you waiting for ?”

“Stop ! I won't- You're not him !”

“Who ?”

“San ! You're not _San_ !” 

San caught a movement on his left and saw Jongho catching Yeosang. The situation wasn't the best but it was definitly not a good idea to interrupt them, so he ignored eveyrting that wasn't Wooyoung. Everything that wasn't the broken boy in front of him.

He was not naked, wearing a ripped grey tank top underneath a fluffy and short grey coat with black lines orning it. His jeans were black and ripped at the knees, and he combat boots looked used and dirty. His silver-haired had turned blond because of the dust and dirt, but his face looked immaculate. The back of his jacket was torn, falling like pieces of clothes around the wings, and he could see that they had grown proportionnally with Wooyoung. They looked more damages than last time though, with entire piece of skin missing between the bones, and long white scars.

San felt a lonely tear roll on his cheek, not even trying to fight it, and sniffled once. He lifted a hand he gently laid on Wooyoung's jaw, cupping the sharp bone, thumb running on his cheekbone. That got Wooyoung to freeze again. He saw the other's eyelids flutter open staring at his arm, and more particularly at the braclet hidden behind the denim jacket. When lifting his hand the sleeve had fallen a bit, revealing a silver bracelet on which was carved a little mountain, gift of his father for his tenth birthday he had already by wearing last time he was in Wonderland.

Wooyoung sucked in a breath, eyes widening.

“Hi,” repeated San. “I lost myself up there. It's a big and scary world. I always felt like something was missing. But now that I'm here it's better. Now it feels like I found that something ... or some _one_.”

Wooyoung's head snapped up to him, eyes and mouth opening wide, and San saw how the orange of his iris turned to a gentle brown, the one San had learned to love and look for. Not the scary orange that meant the other was about to transform. He saw a panel of emotions happening in Wooyoung's eyes, but was not able to decipher all of them, and so settled to read the most important ones : confusion, realisation, anger, guilt and finally, happiness.

“San,” the second his name left the other's lips all the chains around Wooyoung's body unlocked, and the other being too weak to support himself, he fell right on the human, resulting in both of them falling to the ground. San hissed at the rocks digging in his back but it was a slight pain, and clearly tenable when he felt Wooyoung's arms close around his neck. His whole body was shaking, and it was obvious he was exicted, but also food and sleep deprived. San could tell he had lost weight, he almost felt his ribs when he hugged back.

“You're real, you're here and you're _real_ ,” Wooyoung was full on crying right now, nose hidden his San's jacket, the older not caring one bit about the wet spots on his clothes, lifting his head to he could nuzzle in Wooyoung's neck too. San's scent reminded the dragon of garden, artifical flowers and pine trees. Wooyoung's scent reminded the boy of sleepless night, fresh morning, and fire camps. They smelled home.

“I'm so sorry Woo, so damn fucking sorry ! I can't believe I- the others told me what happened to you and it shouldn't have happened. You shouldn't have gone through that !”

“I thought you would never be back ! I thought you had forgotten all about us and you didn't care !”

“I always cared, always, but I did forget about you.”

Wooyoung's crying stopped abruptly, and he raised his head, disbelief and betrayam written all over his face.

_Shit_

“No, not like this it came out wrong I promise I didn't want to !”

Wooyoung made a little head movement that suggested he was all ears and that San better hurry to explain.

“My mother put me under medications when I came back. I disappeared for two weeks and in my world, we think about kidnapping a lot when children go missing like this. I came back and started talking about here, and she panicked and thought I had been drugged or something. But my tests came out clean and I didn't have a concussion, so in the end she thought it was a mental-breakdown, a way my brain found to cope with the _traumatic experience_ I went through.”

“You didn't have any traumatic experience,” deadpanned Wooyoung.

“I know that, she didn't. So medications. And they made me froget. On purpose. I forgot about you but I never forgot the feeling of you. Wooyoung I ... all my life I've been chasing for that same feeling, without finding it. In no one. I kissed people but it never felt like you. I've never dated anyone, I never had any friends. The only thing I could think what that feeling, the only thing I had left from this place, was you. Only you.”

Wooyoung's mouth was closed and even if he was crying anymore, tears still fell from his cheeks to San's, and the later ran his thumbs over the boy's face to swipe them.

“Will you forgive me ? For not being there all these years ? For forgetting ?”

“Sannie ... Sannie Sannie Sannie Sannie,” his name was sung like a mantra by the younger, and he fell back on the other's torso, exhausted but finally able to let go, knowing he was in trusting hands. “There is nothing to forgive. But if you're not here when I wake up ...”

His voice died down at the same tim he fell alseep, and San panicked a moment, rolling them over to take Wooyoung in his arms, but when he felt a pulse and saw his chest rising quietly, he breathed out. A gentle smile came on his lips, and he said :

“I will be there.”

*

He was. After cleaning the dragon - without him waking up - Seonghwa had actually authorised him to sleep in the same bed as Wooyoung's so he could rest too, but the boy reminded them of his sister's wedding.

“Time work differently but not to differently,” explained Hongjoong. “They might be a season earlier than us, but we have the same time-zone. Which means it's a little past 11 p.m. right now.”

“My sister's wedding starts at 11 a.m.,” said San. “How am I going to have a whole conversation with Wooyoung. He's resting and I can't disturb that sleep. He'll kill me if I'm not here when he wakes up ...”

Yunho and Mingi were near the door, Yeosang looking over Wooyoung whom had already been burried in the bed, Jongho looking at his lover, and Seonghwa and Hongjoong were talking with San.

The castle had enough room for all of them, but as they were almost all couple - _cough_ Yunho and Mingi _cough_ \- they only needed three extra rooms. And they were all very big. Walls entirely white with black frames around the doors and windows, red carpet, curtains and sheets, and a balda bed. Closet that took one entire wall, empty of course, except for Wooyoung's old clothes and shoes, some furnitures like night tables, a dressing table and a stool. There was little bookshelf filled wih dozens of books, and a giant miror behind the double doors of the room.

“I think it's better if you rest now ...,” advised Hongjoong.

“My mother must be worried sick hyung ! I did just like last time ! And my sister's pregant, so much stress isn't good for her,” said San, remembering his mother's words.

“Do you want me to send them a message ?” asked Seonghwa.

“A message ? Like a letter ?”

“Hum, we can try a letter yes. Yunho can send messages to the upside world. We'll tell her that there was something you had to do but that you will be at the ceremony without fault tomorrow morning. We only need to copy your hand writing.”

“Might as well let me write the goddamn thing y'know ?”

“Nope, you need to rest,” denied the Queen shaking his head.

“But-”

“No buts Sannie. Just give me the hand you're using to write,” Yunho came closer to him and waited until San gave him his right hand. Yunho took it with his own right hand, and closed his fingers around it, San feeling like wax being ripped from his skin and yelped slightly.

“There, all done,” cheered Mingi. “Now sleep, I'm exhausted,” he whined, falling on Yunho's shoulder.

“You go, I'll join you later, I have business with the hyungs,” laughed the Caterpillar.

They both exited the room, and Jongho told San :

“We'll wake you up at 9'30, how does it sound ?”

San nodded.

“It's perfect. I'll let me enough time to comfort Wooyoung and have a word with him before I go, and see with Seonghwa how I'll come back.”

“We'll see all details tomorrow morning Sannie, now go to sleep please, it's obvious you're tired as well and we don't want a tired San at his sister's wedding.”

San felt like Seonghwa was talking to him like he was a baby, but he didn't really mind. It was the comfort _he_ needed.

Everyone left the room and San was left alone, looking at Wooyoung nuzzled in the covers. He could tell with the sheets' position that the younger was curled on himself, and he was entirely burried in the soft blankets, only his nose and the top of his head appearing. He had deep and dark bags under his eyes, and San only hoped for them to disappear after a few days of good sleep. He changed into clothes Seonghwa gave to him, that consisted in pants and a shirt, but he only put the shirt on and kept his underwears. He slythered in the covers as gently as he could so he wouldn't wake Wooyoung up, but as soon as he was laying in bed, the boy turned to him and without opening his eyes, threw a blanket covered arm over San's chest, head resting on his shoulder. The older smiled gently and turned to face the sleeping dragon, slipping one of his legs between Wooyoung's. He couldn't sleep without hugging something, so if the dragon wanted to cuddle to him as well, he was not about to deny it.

San thought about the whole situation for a moment. He felt at home in Wonderland, surrounded by his childhood friends. It might have been many years since they last saw eachother, and they might not know him and he might not know them by heart, but he felt like he could, and that they would let him. He felt like entering a house, and six pairs of arms were opened to welcome him.

If it wasn't for his family, San was ready to give up his entire life and disappear in Wonderland forever. But before that, he would need explanations from his mother.

The last thought he had before falling asleep was the hope that Seonghwa and Hongjoong would know what to do for his sister's wedding.

*

The next morning found San waking up in a still dark room, the thick red curtains hiding the sunlight efficiently. Wooyoung was still deeply asleep at his side, and San's heart clenched to see the boy so restfull and vulnerable.

It must've been close to the time Jongho had said he'd wake him up, because the door of the room opened, letting a gentle light peak inside, and Yeosang appeared, dressed in oversized pajamas.

“Good morning San.”

“m'Morning Sangie,” mumbled the other, eyes batting awake.

“Did you slept well ?”

“Like a baby, and Wooyoung still does.”

Yeosang's eyes darted to his friend and his had a tender smile.

“I'm glad. I haven't seen him this relaxed since you left ... I can't even remember the last time he had a full night of sleep. He didn't have nightmares ?”

“I wasn't awake and he doesn't look distrubed, so I think not.”

“You trully are his salvation. Thank you San, thank you for everything.”

San gently burshed a tear of Yeosang's cheek and took the Rose - that had sit down in his side on the bed - in his arms.

“Don't thank me Yeo. It's not necessary. Now come on, we'll wake him up.”

San made a gesture to leave the bed, but as soon as he shoved the blankets off his body, a hand closed around his wrist. He gasped a little surprised, and Yeosang turned to him with wide eyes. They both sighed when they saw Wooyoung's eyes opened. He was only looking at San though.

“Where are you going ?” he was obviously struggling to keep his eyes open and his morning voice was way deeper than his usual high one, and it made San's heart flip a little.

“I just have to talk to the hyungs about some things. You can sleep more Woo, I'll come to talk with you after-”

“No. I wanna come.”

“Wooyoung you haven't slept enough for what your body's been through.”

“I'm fine,” mumbled the younger, already sitting up. His silver locks were all over the place and he furrowed his brows at the light, black pupils retracting into a thin line. San was fascinated by the hybrids biology. He had already noticed that Jongho's eyes too had to peculiarity to act like real cat ones around light, tail wagging a little depending on his mood as well, but Wooyoung was another sight to discover. His stretched his whole body, long wings his size almost whacking San in the process.

The human put on the pants Seonghwa had left for him and then made a burrito of a sleeping Wooyoung in thiner covers.

“What are you doing ?” asked the dragon, not really registrating.

“I'm carrying you. I want you to sleep more. If you want to come then so be it but sleep, please.”

He was taken bride style in San's arms, and could only obey, head falling on the boy's shoulder. San was extremly carefull with Wooyoung's wings, an arm passed under as one of them wrapped around his own shoulder while the other fell a little on Wooyoung's legs to stay close to his body.

He had over-estimated himself a little, the dragon not really being light with the weight of his wings, but he managed to follow Yeosang through the Castle, going down the stairs without killing either of them, and finally flopped himself on the love seat of the little living room located in front of the Tea Room. Wooyoung stretch on the rest of the seat, head still on San's shoudler and sitting on his lap, sighing with content as he nuzzled in the hair at the boy's nape. It made him shiver but the older kept himself under control.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong really looked at them like proud parents from the couch they sat on, but San soon noticed something else : they were exhausted.

“Good morning San. Wooyoung didn't want to let you go ?” asked the Queen teasingly.

“Never again,” whispered the silver-haired between two snors.

“Cute. So San we might have found a solution for ... y'know,” gestured Hongjoong, not saying more because of the younger's presence. Yeosang sleepily sat on a single sofa, the pajama sweater he was wearing giving him sweater paws, his legs bent against his torso. He took a cup of tea from the table as well as a toast, and the human boy realised the table was filled with breakfast food. He took one he slid under Wooyoung's blanket, thinking it was time for the younger to start eating normally again.

“Is that why you both look like you didn't get any sleep ?” San asked.

Both husbands looked at eachother with a grimace and the human boy scolded :

“Seriously hyungs, I didn't ask for you to be sleep deprived ! Your health is more important !”

“It's not only touching us San, so no. And we can always catch sleep later.”

San sighed, knowing it was too late anyway.

“So, how can you help ?”

“Kids have a sort of time limit when they fall into the wrong world. Especially those with a family. Like this, you won't stay away from your loving ones for too long, and get them worried,” started Seonghwa, showing an open book in front of him. Looking around the living room, San found a dozen of piles of book a little everywhere, but only three opened on the small coffee table in front of them, between the cups of tea and the pastries.

“I went back before that time limit though, right ?”

“You did. The time limit is a month, which is still very long for children to disappear in your world. In ours not so much, but yours is more dangerous. After this time period is expired, you're automatically sent back into your world. As an adult, you don't have a time limit. The thing is, a human was never able to stay in Wonderland for more than a few days.”

“Why ?”

“Homesickness. You fall into a world entirely different than the one you know off. Nothing works the same way, and they are a lot of changes to accommodate to. You were lucky to come as a child, but if yesterday had been your first time, you might've gone crazy. That's generally what happens to the adults that end down here,” informed Hongjoong.

“But I feel comfortable here. I don't feel bad or I don't feel like I don't understand what's going on ...”

“Like we said, you came as a child, but it might come from something else we don't know of.”

“Is there a way to go back to my world as an adult ?”

Wooyoung stired as that, and stepped in, still munching on his croissant :

“Why are you talking about going up ?”

The three other males exchanged embarrassed look but Yeosang saved them.

“San still has a family up there Woo. He can't just disappear without saying anything. He'll want to know how they're doing, and them too.”

Wooyoung didn't seem to fond about the idea but he wasn't selfish, and understood that. Something crossed his mind, an intrusive thought that made him jump, his wide and panicked.

“But you won't remember us either ! If every time you leave you forget about us ! You'll never come back again ! No you can't go ! You can't- S-san you can't ...” from yelling Wooyoung had went to begging, and now he fought with himself to not cry as he whispered the last word. Distress was written all over his face and San immediatly took him in his arms.

“Shhh I won't forget about you Wooyoung, not anymore ... Yah that's why I wanted you to sleep more and talk after, I told you already what happened ...”

He forced Wooyoung to retract from him so he could take the boy's face between his hand, cupping his cheeks.

“Woo, I was a child last time, and my mother drugged me with medicins. It won't happen again, I won't let it happen. I'm an adult now she can't do anything to me. But I need to go back. To at least have an explanation. Medications was a little violent for a child, and some memories came back of other weird things ... I just need to know alright ? But I won't leave for long. I'll come back. I told you alright, I'll always come back to _you_.”

Wooyoung was looking at him deeply, sniffing more than crying, and he took San's hand away, cleaning his face of his tears, then looked at the older as if he had made the biggest decision of his life.

He took San's head between his hands and dropped his own. He kissed him.

San registered a second too late, but Wooyoung's lips were already gone, so he licked his lips to keep the taste a little longer. Did he just-

“There. Now you'll _have_ to come back.”

Yeoang was hiding in his sweater paws but he cas clearly laughing his ass off, Seonghwa and Hongjoong looked to tired to scold them but smiled as if nothing had happened.

“Why are you talking about it so soon though ? San just came back, he won't leave any time soon.”

Another awkward silence filled the room, but this time the dragon took the time to look at all of them. His face fell a little when he understood something was up.

“My sister is getting married today. I have to be there.”

Wooyoung's eyes widened.

“When ?!”

“In an hour ...”

The dragon turned white, hands grabbing San's shoulder and pressing on them as if he was stopping the older from standing up, but he wasn't trying to.

“Let me come.”

“What ?”

“Let me come !”

“Wooyoung you can't-”

“I won't let you get away from me ! Not so soon ! Not again ! Not now !”

“Wooyoung you are a hybrid. We have no idea how your body will react to the human world, and a dragon is not something they have up there. You'll only cause havock,” said Seonghwa.

“Hongjoong goes up there all the time !”

“I am a _rabbit_! I can't turn into a human when I'm up there ! It's too dangerous Wooyoung-”

“Then find a solution ! You did it for San right ? You found out how he can go back up there ! Let me come ! Seonghwa you're human ! You won't change if you go into his world ! Come with us ! Make sure I'll be fine !”

They were clearly not awake enough to deal with this, Hongjoong massaging his temples to chase the headache away.

“Wooyoung ...”

“I mean it's not a terrible idea ...”

They all turned to see Yunho in the door frame, bags under his eyes as well but not as visible as the married couple's one.

“Yunho please not you too ...”

“It's the only way we won't have a sick Wooyoung all over again !”

“It's only for a day !”

“We don't know that ! Last time he went away it lasted ten years !”

“Things changed !”

“He still needs to quiet his family down ! If Wooyoung and Seonghwa go with him it'll ensure his comeback !”

“Is it only about this ?” suddenly asked San, fox eyes narrowed. Yunho turned to him and didn't blink when their eyes locked. “You trust me Yunho, right ?”

The lack of answer made the boy's eyes widened and his jaw clench.

“Right ?!”

Yeosang was tensed looking at them, and it was too early and none of them had had coffee yet and he really didn't want to have to deal with a fight.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong looked ready to reply while Wooyoung was just utterly confused, so the Rose decided to cut in :

“It's not just about trust San. Of course we trust you to come back, but we know that the portal between our two worlds are unbalanced and constantly moving. We don't want- we _can't_ risk you staying stuck up there. Not when ...”

Yeosang looking at Wooyoun was enough to finish the sentance and the dragon seemed to finally realised what all of this was about.

“Not when I could go back to locking myself away and fall back in depression ... It's my fault ...”

“Wooyoung- no !”

“It is. All these years you had to deal with me, the absolute wreck of the group and not once did I ever thought about you ... The only thing I could see was my pain and not once did I ever think about how you could feel seeing me like this ... I'm so sorry guys ...”

They let him apologised. Telling him to not do it wouldn't make anything better considering the boy's personnality, and they saw a new wave of determination on his face.

“Yunho, if you want me to go it means you know how to make sure I won't turn into a dragon the second I step foot up there ?”

“I do. We need to go to Marmoreal, your brother has everything we'll need to prepare the potion,” Yunho turned to Seonghwa, whom frowned.

“Marmoreal is too far, we won't have time to go there and come back, the wedding is in less than an hour !”

“Wait- we have some products sent by him from last month's exchanged ! Maybe some of the stuff you need is in there !” Hongjoong didn't lose time asking anyone and ran to the storage room. He came back a few minutes later with a bunch of servant that carried all the packages, and soon the room was filled with them.

“Wow, that's a lot of exchanged products,” commented San with impressed eyes.

“Marmoreal and Salazen Grum have very earth grounds, not the same food is produced from the ground. We often exchang half of what we produced, and share it with our villages.”

“We're losing sight of what's important now,” groaned Hongjoong, Yunho and him looking through the boxes.

“Ah right, so Wooyoung and San will go up there ?”

“Yep ! So will you darling ! So chop chop, go get dressed !”

“Hongjoong baby ... _chop chop_ is for cutting _vegetables_ ...”

“Seonghwa I will cut _you_ if you're not dressed in half an hour.”

“I don't take that long ...”

“40 minutes in the shower _is_ too long hyung ...” pointed out Yunho.

“And I'm not even with you most of the times,” Hongjoong smirked and San jolted he and Wooyoung up.

“Alright that's it I'm out. Oh wait I need a suit !”

“I'll show you where they are, come on,” Yeosang led them out once more, and Seonghwa seperated from them.

As promised they had eaten, were showered, teeth brused, hair styled and were dressed half an hour later. San had a completely black suit that looked more fitting for a burrial than a weeding, but Wooyoung couldn't deny he was extremely hot either way. His hair had been styled back, only his silver lock standing out on top of his head, the blue hair on the sides braided elegantly by Yeosang. he wasn't wearing a tie, and the buttons of his shirt were a little opened, revealing the silver chain around his neck.

Wooyoung looked perfect as well : he had a jaguar print on his shirt, opened slightly on his chest, a black suit jacke, black slacks and boots. It gave him a little bit of a rock vibe for a wedding, but San didn't mind at all. He also found it incredible how the clothes had stretched around his wings to settle nicely on his shoulder blades without being torn ; Wonderland was really doing magic. His silver hair were style back too, with a few locks falling on his forehead, and Yeosang had insisted to put a little bit of black eye-shadow on Wooyoung's eyelid. It sounded like a good idea, but seeing the dark eyes of the dragon now, San knew he was fucked for the entire ceremony. To hide his tired eyes and also because he needed them, San put on glasses and brushed the last locks of his own forehead. A look at the mirror and they nodded to eachother.

They didn't even try to be subtle about the hungry looks with which they eyed the other, and Yeosang rolled his eyes.

“Come on guys, I feel like you'll jump on eachother if we don't move now.”

San smirked and Wooyoung giggled, clearly caught red-handed. They went back to the others downstairs, Jongho and Mingi now awake. Hongjoong was fixing something on Seonghwa's attire, and damn did he look smoking hot.

He had a black shirt underneath a red _velvet_ jacket and tugged in red velvet slacks. His blood red tie was what Hongjoong had been fixing, and San noticed with a smile the little watch bore by the Rabbit now hidden in Seonghwa's jacket front pocket, the golden chain hanging from it to the lapel it was attached too. He had golden buttons on his sleeves and jacket, and his blond hair weren't style like usually, but wavy and falling on his forehead. His eyes were lightly made with a dark eye-shadow close to the eye and a red one arround it, and his lips were peachy.

“You look handsome Seonghwa,” Hongjoong was also eyeing him shamelessly, a proud glint in the eye.

“I am going to the upside world for the first time after all, and I'm meeting San's family. I have to be presentable.”

“Hyung, you're a Queen, you're always presentable,” sighed Jongho, kissing Yeosang good morning.

“Oh my crown ! Should I wear it ? It will be too formal right ?”

“I think you can. Some people might be surprised, but you do look like royalty hyung,” smiled San.

Immediatly a valet came with the most beautiful piece of jewerly the human boy had ever seen displayed on a very thick cushion : it was a really basic crown, but with rubies and onyx mounting the dark silver ornaments of the crown. Right in the middle stood a single white stone, probably an opal. San didn't want to advance theories that might be wrong, but he was 95% sure that opal was a representation of Hongjoong.

Once everyone was ready they all stood in the middle of the throne room, the three travelers forming a triangle at the center of their friends' circle.

Yunho arrived in a rush, three little flasks in hand.

“These, will bring you to the upside world. This,” he said, giving one tube filled with barely a drop of whatever was in it to Wooyoung,” is for you.”

“For my attributes ?”

“Precisely. Drink it now, the effects are limited though, you'll only have two hours once you step up there.”

“We'll be quick,” assured Seonghwa.

“As quick as one can be at a wedding,” pointed out San. “How do we come back ?”

“I'll make sure that the portal between our two worlds stays open at the oak-tree,” answered Hongjoong, alarming Seonghwa.

“You can't do that, it's exhausting Hongjoong !”

“I have too, it's the only way and I'm not letting any of you lose itself up there for another ten years.”

“San it's almost time,” warned Yeosang, clock in hand.

The three men took a deep breath and looked at eachother, Wooyoung gulping down his drop before they all drank what was in the flask.

They felt the world around them spin a little, and their body acted like fainting, but soon they landed on a hard grassy floor. San felt his lower body falling and he caught himself right before he could actually fall back in the rabbit's hole.

He was caught by the hand and lifted on his feet by Seonghwa, and was stunned for a few seconds by the other's strenght.

Looking around, he saw they had all landed perfectly well, Wooyoung's wings had disappeared and his jacket looked untouched. His eyes had also lost this peculiar spark that gave them this dragon charm, but San knew it was only temporary.

“Alright, San we're following you, what's the plan ?”

“The ceremony starts in ten minutes. You'll both hide a little in the trees near the altar. Don't meddle with the guests, everyone knows everyone and they'll see you're not from here. Go on my sister's side. She and my mother will probably want to speak with me once they see I'm back, so that's when I'll let you know you can come.”

The other two nodded, ready to follow San's plan and not start a drama.

They could already hear laughs and voices and San cringed when he recognised his annoying aunt's that would probably be a bitch about his inexistant love life.

He took a deep breath, and more for himself than Seonghwa and Wooyoung, whispered :

“Let's go.”

All the guests had already been sat in front of the altar, and San could see his mother speaking with the uncle that would marry his sister, the groom standing next to them. She seemed relaxed but San knew his mother : her shoulders were tensed, her eyes kept going over everyone in case she saw her son pop up, and her fingers kept twitching. She was everything but relaxed.

Coming from behind his sister, San tried to make his steps louder so she wouldn't be startled. She still gasped in surprise when he laid a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and her eyes widened when she saw her brother.

“San ! Oh thank the Gods you're here ! We were so worried with mom you have no idea ... And then we received a letter from a stranger saying that you'd be here and we had no idea where you were and oh god ...”

He stayed silent while she took deep breaths, and he apologised, taking her into his arms. Wonderland might held a part of his heart, but his sister would always have the other. They knew for a long time that they'd be the only thing left to eachother once their mother would die, and after their father's death they had grown closer, more protective of one another.

He kept apologising. She was pregant, a bride to be, and that was already so much stress for her, and he had only made it worst.

“I didn't mean to disappear like this I'm so sorry. I promise I was fine, I'm not hurt, and the ones who sent you this letter are friends of mine, no one to be scared off. I know it's your wedding day and it's important, but mother, you and I need to have an important conversation after this.”

San's serious face and the context of his disappearance brought her back ten years in the past, and San saw a flash of understanding pass in his sister's eyes.

“You went back there, you remember ...” she breathed out, not really asking a question but making a statement.

That confused San for a second. No one in the family had ever talked about this since his medications and he was sure everyone thought he had just been delusional at the time, so why was his sister acting as if it wasn't the case ? Why was she saying something that could mean ethey knew everything San had said was real ? He knew he was right to feel something was wrong about this whole story.

“You know something.”

It wasn't a question either. But music started behind them and San finally took the time to look at his sister and she was amazing. He shook his head, and took her in his arms one last time. Everything was happening really fast and it was a bit overwhelming, but this, right here and now, he would take the time to enjoy it.

“Your dress is beautiful, you're beautiful noona” it was, he knew it already, but she still looked the prettiest everytime. San smiled genuinely, and his sister understood the subtext : later. Now was her moment, and San was not going to steal it from her.

They turned around and he bent her arm for her to take. She gladly did, fixing her veil one last time before they started marching.

“Dad would've been so proud of you,” he whispered to her, and he heard her chuckle wetly. She was already started to cry from hapiness as they slowly made their way up.

“Is it selfish to whish he was here. To not be entirely satisfied because he's missing ?”

“No, not it's not. I had the same thought when I graduated from High School. You and mom were at my side and congratulating me but ... deep down, I kept wanting him to be here too.”

San's sister nodded at that, sniffing a little. Everyone looked at the siblings, absolutly unaware of everything that had been going on in the Choi household. San's mother catched his eyes and she widened hers in shock, before catching herself and smiling, a little frozen though.

Reaching his step-brother, San smiled at him.

“Hyung, congratulations,” he said.

“Thank you San. I'll take care of you sister and our baby,” promissed the elder man.

“I have no doubts about that. But I also know noona can take care of herself. She's strong,” San's eyes narrowed, testing the groom.

The other didn't even noticed, eyes losing themsleves as he watched San's sister.

“The strongest,” he answered, not even looking at San, and the younger nodded and smiled.

He parted away, sitting next to his mother, and tried to act as natural as possible when she asked :

“Where were you ? It's not like you to disappear without saying anything so suddenly.”

“I went back to Wonderland. You know, where I fell ten years ago, but you made me forget through medications.”

San's mother watched him in horror.

“San, don't be ridiculous please, you were a child at the time, of course you invented a world to hide the horrible things you had been through while you were gone.”

San turned his dark eyes to his mother, jaw clenching. This was their first argument ever, and none of them liked where this was going. They kept their voices in whispering tone to not disturb the ceremony and he was glad, otherwise he would've already started yelling.

“If it's such imaginary please explain the two men I brought back with me standing near the hedges at the back,” he whistled between his teeth, pointing out to where Wooyoung and Seonghwa where standing.

San saw his mother turn pale and stiff while looking at both men, snapping her head to stand in a normal position again.

“Now can we please pay attention to the ceremony. It's my sister's wedding.”

Cutting any dicussion with his mother so coldy was a first for the human boy but it felt odly satsfying when he knew that he had been taken for an idiot for ten years.

The bride and the groom both recited their vows without faults, the ceremony happened nicely and as it should've without nothing interrupting it, people crying and smiling and everyone throwing rose petals at the freshly wed. Standing up San took a look at Seonghwa and Wooyoung, and saw the younger gently patting the shoulder of the eldest with a tired face, the Queen crying soundlessly in a red tissue. San had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn't dreaming and had a cornered smile, sighing longly. Just as he gestured to his mother and sister that they needed to leave now, San's aunt caught him. He saw his sister apologise to her husband from the corner of his eyes before he had to focus on the annoying woman in front of him.

“San boy ! You're even pale and thiner than last time !”

San had a honey skin and was twice as large as he was two years ago. His aunt really liked to open her mouth only to criticise when it was about him.

“Hi Aunty. It's really nice to see you.”

“I guess so ! It's been a while ! What a beautiful bride your sister makes ! You should follow in her steps soon too!”

San decided to play dumb. He was most of the time a patient boy, but not today.

“You want me to be a beautiful bride too ?”

“Oh silly, boys can't be bride. But if you manage to find a bride as beautifull as your sister, you'll at least succeed in something in your life.”

The fact that San didn't want to fight his sister for the direction of their father's compagny hadn't been well received by some people of the family, and every event of the sort was the occasion to remind San of that. But the boy was tired of being thrown in the mud constantly and so he ripped himself from his aunt's grip :

“Sorry Auntie but brides aren't really my thing. My boyfriend on the other hand, is way more suitable in my eyes than any woman could ever be, and if at our wedding he whishes to be a bride, than he sall. Now if you'll excuse me, mother is waiting for me.”

He didn't wait for an answer and left, perfectly aware of the outraged and insulted face of his aunt and walked passed his sister and mother to Wooyoung and Seonghwa.

“Come on,” he said.

“Where are we going ?” asked Wooyoung, running to catch San's pace and link their arms.

“Inside the house. It'll be more discreet. You alright there hyung ?”

“F-fine, weddings juste make me emotionnal”, Seonghwa blew his nose one last time and San giggled ; it was such a _Seonghwa_ thing to do and say that it was funny.

When entering his house, San didn't thought he'd feel like a stranger. Yet, he did. He looked at the huge stairs right in front of the entry, the paintings on the walls, and he couldn't bring himself to feel familiar with the place.

“Let's move to the living room shall we ?” San's mother hadn't laid eyes on either of the two foreigners, as if she decided that as long as she wouldn't see them, they wouldn't exist. This tactic couldn't last very long as they all walked inside the room and sat down on the different sofas and couch. San's sister and mother sat on one, Wooyoung and San sat in front of them, and Seonghwa took one of the single chair, immediatly laying his elbows on the armrests and crossing his legs. The natural elegance he had was almost insolent. San could tell his family was intimidated by him and he was just sitting there.

_The power of a Queen_ ...

“So, where should we start ?” asked San's mother.

“Maybe introductions are in order ?” suggested San. He had understood the other two would let the talk to him so they wouldn't accidentally screw up. “Mother, Noona, meet Wooyoung and Seonghwa.”

Both women bent in salutations and the boys did the same.

“It's nice to meet you Miss Choi. Congratulations on your wedding noona,” said Seonghwa, very genuine and respectfull.

“I think it's useless to turn around the pot any longer, you come from _down there_ , don't you ?”

At that the boys turned to look as San, and the boy nodded.

“We do.”

“What role do you have ? I know that this world is filled with different creatures,” there was no disgust in San's mother's words, just statement and maybe a bit of curiosity.

“I am a hybrid. But my attributes have been hidden from you for discretion,” introduced Wooyoung.

“I am the Red Queen.”

“You're the ruler of this other world ?”

“Not entirely, I only rule on the land of Salazen Grum. My brother, the White King, rules on a different land, Marmoreal.”

“It's a joke,” San's sister seemed overwhelmed, bouquet laid on the table and head in her hands.

“Mother, you seem to know a lot about a world you described as imaginary,” San was barely containing his anger. The more minutes went by and the more he realised hsi mother was not as clueless as he thought she was.

She sighed and looked at her son with guilt written all over her face.

“I believe it is time for explanations.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for the wedding the outfits : San's is from his private contente, in the Sanchelin guide (you can find it on youtube), Wooyoung's come from 191018 and Seonghwa's is from the velvet suit from one of their Wonderland's MV outfits


	5. Last Chapter : Finally Belonging Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter of this already short fiction ! Some of you had interesting theories and guessed right, some got a little too carried but it was interesting to read anyway. It's a small fic but big thanks to those who red it and loved it ! Thanks for commenting and leaving kudos, I hope you'll like this last and short ending chapter !
> 
> Enjoy !

“So you agree ?”

San's mother looked extremely guilty right now.

“You agree that you lied !”

“I didn't lie. I wasn't asked to answer any truth.”

“Same difference mother ...”

“Hiding the truth and lying are two different things San, don't resent your mother too much,” appeased Seonghwa, still looking at the woman with narrowed eyes. “Yet.”

San's mother made a little head sign as if to say thank you despite the little hit at the end. His sister looked really pale and afraid that whatever truth would be spoken was going to break their family appart. San did not know if it would go to that extend, while his mother looked rather relaxed.

“I will start telling a story, please do not interrupt me while I'm talking,” she cut already seeing her son ready to protest. “Everything will fall right in its place the longer I go one, I can assure you San.”

He nodded and made himself more comfortable. His hand had found its way into Wooyoung's, seaking comfort where he could. If his mother noticed, she didn't say anything about it.

“So. You are not without knowing that your father and I met thirty years ago ?”

“Yes, you got introduced by friends, right ?”

“Yes and no. We got introduced by a friend of mine, but she was your father's co-worker. Your father was a very lonely man San, I didn't meet any friends before we started dating, and after, all his friends were mine that had introduced to him.”

San knew a little about that. He was a lonely kid too, and had often came home crying because of it. His father had always tried to comfort him by saying that he was lonely too before meeting his mother, but somehow San couldn't believe someone as cool as his father had been friendless. Until today.

“I don't think his loneliness came from his shyness. He wasn't the type. He was really smart, cultivated, and we could have endless conversations without running out of a subject of discussion. And he had his own humor, and made me laugh a lot. We actually became friends before it changed to something more intimate.”

San must've made a face because she quickly ad with a laugh :

“I won't go into details don't worry. All that to say that your father also had a big part of mystery. I never met his parents, or anyone from his family. He told me he didn't have contacts with them anymore and he didn't wish to. Even after I became his wife it took him a long time to speak the truth about this.”

He did remember that he never meant his grandparents from his father's side either. Neither did his sister. Somehow they knew it was a subject that shouldn't be mentionned, but they never knew why. Mr.Choi was a very loving and caring father, always taking care of his children and never forgetting his wife, appeasing every uncertainty life had brought upon them.

“Your father decided to tell me about his family after you were born, so almost six years after we met, and four after we married. Your sisters was barely three at the time. I remember it clearly. It was in July, the sun was high but the wind was fresh, and the heat was more than barable. The house had always been well isolated, so we weren't afraid that you would suffer from the heat. It's your father whom insisted to have the house built right here. I never understood why, as we're only miles away from Seoul, but he always claimed a fresh air and a good entertainement area for children. How could I say no ?”

They all felt it was hard for the woman to speak of those happy memories now that her husband was gone, and her fond eyes were wet, threatening to cry. San's sister took her hand in both of hers and held it tight.

“Anyway. I hadn't gone out of the house since your birth, and so when he suggested a little walk around the house I accepted. He took me to the oak-tree in the yard. The same on on which you were playing ten years ago.”

“The same one I disappeared under yesterday night,” breathed out San. Wooyoung, Seonghwa and he all had their brain's gears in action, understanding more or less where this was going. San mostly understood less ; at least, he didn't want to understand.

“Yes, this one. I was confused of course, I didn't understand what was so special. And then he said it all. That he was not from around here, neither be it Seoul nor South Korea, or the earth for that matter. He told me he came from another world, one linked to ours by only a few portals all around the world, and that the rabbit hole under our oak-tree was one.”

“You didn't believe him, did you ?” it was Wooyoung whom had asked the question, San too stunned and shocked to say anything. His hand had tightened around the dragon's, and he was the one unable to believe his mother.

“Of course not. I thought it was a joke, until I saw how serious he was. My world came crashing around me. I thought he was mad, that he had lost it, maybe having children had made that to him, or maybe it was something he had managed to hide from me perfectly. I did not want to believe it, yet he kept talking, as if he couldn't see my distress. He explained that after a change of power in the monarchy, he ran away from his village, and went to close to his land's edges. He accidentally crossed over and appeared in our world, without the possibilty to come back.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung didn't seem to find it weird, and San remembered Yeosang's reaction the first time they met ten years ago. The Rose had seemed suprised to see him, but not to accept that he wasn't from his world.

“Did it happened often ?” he asked to Seonghwa.

“After the former Red Queen stole the crown from her parents and killed them ? Yes ... yes it did. Your father wasn't the only one who disappeared from Wonderland San ... Dozens of men, women, entire families did.”

“Wait, we don't know for sure if my father was from Wonderland, right mother ?”

The look on his mother's face froze his veins. It wasn't such a big deal to learn that his father was coming from a hidden world, not after visiting this world twice, but the notion of it was still ... disturbing.

“He never tried to go back ?” asked Seonghwa.

“What for ? He had a family he loved and cared about, and he his country was rulled by a tyrant. Even if he wanted to he didn't know how ...”

She had a point, and the thought made the Queen grimaced.

“How did you know that what he was saying was true ?”

“I decided to forget about it and he agreed, for the sake of our marriage and family. When San disappeared for two weeks ten years ago, my thoughts immediatly went to that rabbit hole. Finding him near it when he came back, happy, untouched and talking about an imagniary world with rabbit-men, talking flowers and boys that could change into dragons ... I had a serious conversation with my husband. Your sister had never felt attracted to that tree, and his theory was that you had more of him than she did. That's why ... that's why you could go back.”

“And why I don't feel like going mad when I'm down there. That's why it feels like home,” he said in a whisper. All this time when he and the others had tried to figure out how he could've come back, how he could addapt to this world so quickly ... He had a part of this world inside of him. He was made to live down there, as much as he was to live up here.

As much ? Maybe not ...

“Why did you decided to put me under medications ? It erased two weeks of my memories !”

“I was afraid !” her voice had rose. “You were _eleven_ years old for God's sake San ! Eleven ! And your father told me that it would probably happen more and more as you would grow because there seemed to be a bigger part of you that was your father than me ! I didn't want to lose you ! I _don't_ want to lose you ! You're my son !”she had tears running down her eyes, and even his sister was dead silent, looking at the ground, unable to know what to say. What could she anyway ?

San was not supposed to live in their world. He wasn't made for it, just like his father hadn't. But his father had found people in his life that kept him sane. San had been lonely his whole life, and could only find comfort when in Wonderland.

“Oh mom,” it was rare for him to use such a formal appelation for his mother. He stood up and dropped on his knees right in front of his mother, taking her into his arms. She was crying into his shoulder.

“I didn't want to keep you from this, I swear but I- ... I thought that if you couldn't remember, you wouldn't want to go back, and I could keep you a little longer ...”

“I understand, I do. But the medications only erased the images. Mom all these years I felt something was wrong with me. I felt out of place, like I didn't belong. Do you have any idea what I could've done if I had not been better cared for and loved than I was ? It could've been tragic ...”

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry San I'm sorry my boy,” she was hugging her son back, one hand in his black locks, the other on his cheek. “Please don't disappear again, you can go back but please, don't disappear !”

San froze, unsure he had heard correctly. He parted from his mother a little.

“Go back ? You'd let me go back without refusing ?”

“Oh Sannie baby, I try to be an understanding mother. I kept you here with me ten more years, and it only made you suffer. I want you to be happy. And if you come back home from time to time, why would I refuse ? It was selfish to keep you here and force you onto medications in the first place, but I'm done.”

She had a big smile, a happy one. Not a sad or resigned one. She was honest.

“Thank you,” they hugged again, and San turned to his sister.

“When did you learn about it ?”

“After you disappeared. I saw mom and dad really panicked and I was confused, and for your protection, they thought it would be best if I knew. I'm sorry I kept it from you, but I couldn't say anything-”

“It's ok, don't worry. I understand it's something you can't drop at a family diner, I'm not angry at you. I was just confused and lost, and I knew you had something that I didn't, that made me more angry if I'm being honest.”

Now he'd need to prepare his trip back to Wonderland, and that would probably mean filling two or three suitcases. Her sister had a tender smile too, and San felt like he could relax and breath.

Until his mother spoke up again :

“So if I understood correctly, you're the Queen of Wonderland, right ?” she asked Seonghwa.

“I am. My name is Park Seonghwa. The Queen under which your husband ran away was the former one. She got killed when San was here with us.”

His mother's eyes widened made San froze and Seonghwa understood his mistake :

“Not that he took part in it at all ! Haha ... yeah no absolutly not ! I mean why woud he pff ? It's not like if his name had appeared in the prophecy or anything yeah no- Now that I think about it, being half-Wonderlandian and half-earthian was perhaps the reason you were suppose to defeat the Queen ?” lost in thoughts he just dig their graves a little deeper.

“What he means is that San's arrival only helped a little wind of rebellion that _totally_ started on its own. He didn't took part in anything dangerous or life-threatening, yeah ...” Wooyoung was trying to save what could be saved but the two women were already in understanding and he lowered his head between his shoulders, afraid he'd be yelled at.

“It's fine mom, nothing I couldn't handle at 11 years old,” he would _not_ mention how the former Red Queen had condamned him to death. If hiding the truth was another family business, San could at least take care of this one. “And I wasn't alone remember ?”

“I know you probably won't have all the details because it's a peculiar and long story, but I don't know what would've become of me if not for San. He saved my life. Literally as well as figuratively,” spoke Wooyoung suddenly more serious.

“San saved us all in a way ... Meeting him changed the lives of many of us,” admitted Seonghwa with a smile.

Mrs.Choi seemed really emotionnal about learning that, and she caressed her son's cheek with proud eyes.

“You trully belong with them then.”

“Don't worry I promise everything has been safe for a while. And even if I have stupid ideas, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are like parents to all of us, I'll be looked after.”

“I thank you for that, San can be such a day-dreamer,” the woman looked at Seonghwa with a playfull mischieve in her eyes that ripped a laugh from the other man.

She turned to Wooyoung, eyeing him with suspiscion and maybe a little smirk, and asked :

“And who are you ? I know you're a hybrid as you said it earlier, but you must matter for my son if he brought you here alongside the Queen and third parental figure of his life.”

Wooyoung got a little pink and stuttering, San too, protesting loudly :

“Mother !”

“What ! I have the right to know who my son is friend with !”

“I'm Wooyoung, I'm San's ... San's ... I'm ... huu ...”

He was stumbling with his words and not really knowing what to say. Saying he was a friend was off the table and the thought made them both grimaced, but saying they were more might've been a little fast. They needed to talk about their feelings and Wooyoung knew that South Korea wasn't the friendliest place for people that loved the way they did.

“You're San's ?” wondered his sister. “I mean that's good enough for me,” she shrugged, acting extremely serious even if she was smiling widely.

“I am satisfied by this answer too. But San boy, you know that if one day, you have anything else to say to us, we won't throw you away. Once more, your happiness is what matters. In whom you find it, that's up to you son.”

San couldn't stop smiling. Ever since he knew things had gone back to what they were he was radiant of happiness. Panick settled in a little but his mother's words dismissed it as quickly as it came.

“Thank you mom. One day maybe,” he wasn't ready yet. Even for him it was still knew, and looking at Wooyoung he knew he had made the right decision.

“If nothing hurries you will you consider staying a little bit for tonight's reception ?” asked San's sister.

Seonghwa looked a little panick at that.

“The thing is, the portals between the two worlds are fragile and moving, Hongjoong is keeping the one near the oak-tree open but it's a tiring task and we don't know how much time we have left.”

He expected his sister's face to fell but she expressed worry instead.

“Oh my, you should hurry then ! Don't you have packages to ready ?!”

San turned to his mother as if seeking confirmation one last time as both women and men stood, but she only looked at him curiously and said :

“Well ? What are you still doing here ?”

It was like a strike of thunder and San was off runing in his room, grabbing Wooyoung by the hand for ... whatever reason ? San didn't really know, he guessed he wanted the younger with him, but he also wanted to show him were he grew, as a little boy, then as a man.

He slowed down in the long stairs to not trip and laughed, feeling a little squeeze and turning to see Wooyoung's face as smily as his, tears of joy gathering in his eyes. San stopped and hugged him, noses in eachother's neck, before taking the boy's head between his hands and kissing him right here and now, out in the open, in the middle of his family house.

“I'm so happy Wooyoung,” he breathed out when they parted.

“I am too. Now come on, we have your things to pack !”

They both giggled and resumed their little run to San's bedroom. It was very big, as big as Seonghwa's and Hongjoong's, with a double bed and lots of furtnitures filled with books but also figures, decorative items and clothes. San was a little messy and so jackets, pants and even underwears laid on the floor, chair, and bed.

“Seonghwa would go insane if he ever saw your room,” said Wooyoung, impressed by the mess.

“Why ?”

“He's a maniac. Didn't you notice how spotless the castle is ?”

“Yeah but he has cleaners, no ?”

“He cleans with them to make sure nothing gets forgotten ! When Hongjoong is in hybernation it's even worst ... Hongjoong is like 99% of his self control.”

“Damn ...”

They got to work pretty fast. San had two very big suitcase he filled with clothes, took a few books in a box, and his most precious thing : his family's photo book. Pictures of all of them since their parents' wedding to his last birthday a few weeks ago. And soon, his sister's wedding photo will start the second book San had bought a few days back. He also took his camera, of course, as those didn't really seem to exist in Wonderland, and he was sure Yunho would fing him a magical way to charge it - at least he hoped so because he took his phone as well to communicate with his family ; did they even had Wi-Fi down there ?

He'd need to ask Seonghwa.

Soon he was all done and Wooyoung was arms filled with boxes of different stuff and a bag of plushies while San had both his suitcase ready to roll.

He looked at his childhood room, suddenly emotionnal. It wasn't empty, no, it was still filled with many objects and useless stuff. But he remembered all the good times he had, as well as the bad ones, he remembered that this room had been his own little world for as long as he could remember.

It felt weird growing up. Even if it was to go live in another world, he was sure he'd fill the same thing when he'd need to move out. If he had needed to move out. Seeing it empty, knowing you wouldn't go found relief and peace in this peculiar place.

San would come back, of course, but coming in his room once a month and once an hour were two different things. Very very different.

“You alright ?” asked Wooyoung, gently laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, yes I am it's just ... I-”

“Take your time San. Take all the time you need. I'll wait for you downstairs.”

The door clicking was the last sound San heard and then he was alone, and he let the tears fall freely on his cheeks.

He needed a few more minutes to wrap his mind around the idea that everything was going very fast, but that at the same time if didn't felt more right.

Wooyoung was waiting for him with Seonghwa and his mother and sister just where he left them when he came back, and even if they saw his red eyes and the dry tears on his face, no one said anything. His mother cupped his cheeks and threw him a knowing look.

“You will come back San.”

“As much as I can, I promise.”

“If you can come for the holidays it'd be nice,” said his sister with a gentle smile. “You could bring back your friends, make them discover the second part of yourself ... if it's possible of course,” she added, turning to Seonghwa.

The Queen smiled politely and bowed in thanks.

“It will be our pleasure Miss Choi. Or, should I change it to Miss Seo ?”

“You can. Now off you go. We don't want your friend to get hurt if he's the one mainting the ... portal ? Between our two worlds open.”

Right at this moment when San hugged the two women of his life, Seonghwa felt a change of vibe in the air and turned to look at the very big mirror that was standing in the room, right in front of a dresser.

“I think we won't need to go as far as the oak-tree in the end,” he said curiously, walkng closer to the mirror.

He saw the surface move, like water, and his reflection appeared, deformed. Looking more closely he thought seeing a shadow imitating him and when his doubts where almost confirmed, he straighten back and turned to San.

“I think we're going to take a short cut.”

The boy blinked and looked at Wooyoung whom looked at him too.

“Through the looking glass ?”

Seonghwa's smirk was a little worrying but also very much amused and childish.

“Indeed !”

And without any further warning he threw a hand in the mirror, everyone flinching at they were sure it'd break, but the Queen's hand only disappeared, the surface of the mirror acting like water and bending around his skin.

“Hongjoong must've found another way to connect our two worlds. Let's go before it closes.”

He took his hand out but something - someone actually - else followed, and soon Mingi and Yungo's head and uper body appeared in the living room.

“Woah that's really fancy here ! Oh hi hyung ! I take it we're in the good place !”

“Mingi you can't scream like that ! Oh San, Wooyoung ! Oh hi Mrs Choi, young Miss Choi !” Yunho smiled and even if it was sort of worrying to see two unknown men pop out of your mirror in the middle of the living room, San's mother and sister didn't appear as unphased. Shock written all over their face yes, but that was it.

“Hello ...”

“Guys go back you're startling them ! Wooyoung and I will take care of San's luggages !” asked Seonghwa.

“But do you see all he's got ! You need help !” protested Mingi while Yunho rolled his eyes and gently went back into the mirror.

“We'll be fine Mingi, now go !”

“Yes sir,” grumbled the younger and disappeared too.

“Sorry for that, they did have an education but you know, kids,” sighed Seonghwa.

Wooyoung scoffed and jumped on the dresser, taking San's stuff and literally throwing them threw the mirror as if they weighed nothing - they probably didn't considering his nature. San was saying his last goodbyes to his family, Wooyoung going back to Wonderland once everything had been taken care of to leave Seonghwa deal with the rest.

“I'll try and wright to you, if I realise that my phone doesn't work,” he promised to his mother.

“I always knew that I'd need to let you go somewhere far one day. It doesn't seem to far to realise it's just behind my mirror,” she smiled, a tear falling on her cheek.

San then hugged her sister :

“Be happy down there. I know you can. I know you will, these people ... I trust them to make sure of it,” she was trusting and caring, a fond spark in her eyes.

“I'll back for the holidays, and when the baby will show up. I promise noona.”

He waved a little with his hands once he was close to the mirror, and took a last look at everything around him, before going through the mirror.

It felt like falling into water but never getting wet. It felt cold and wet, but his skin was dry when he stepped through the other side, walking directly in Seonghwa's and Hongjoong's bedroom.

Everyone was silent a moment, as if they were scared a sound would make San disappear like this. Hongjoong was panting hard and gulped down a few glasses of water, only sound in this silence, and he was also the one to break it.

“So ? I take it it went well ?”

“It went more than well,” smiled Wooyoung, jumping on San.

“We should change and go to the living room, have everyone sitting down, eating a little bit, and then a nap,” Seonghwa was already moving all around the room, mother mode full on, and they could only obey.

A dozens of minutes later found them as asked by the Queen, and everyone that didn't knew the story was shocked to hear San was actually half from Wonderland too, and they all welcomed it warmly.

“I mean, you were always family, that's just making it even more accruate !” said Mingi.

“That explains everything we couldn't surrounding you,” said Yeosang after a full minute lost in thoughts.

Seonghwa agreed.

“What am I going to do now ?” suddenly asked San.

“What do you mean ?” worried Wooyoung.

“Well, you sort of all have a job here, don't you ? Seonghwa and Hongjoong rule the kingdom, Yeosang makes sure the earth follows it's right cycle, Jongho leads people through the land when they need, Yunho gives them answers, and Mingi ... actually I'm not entirely sure for Mingi but I know it has an importance too ...”

Everyone laughed a little at that and the red-haired frowned :

“Hey ! I am usefull !”

“He didn't say you're not babe,” held Yunho.

“We make hats in my family ! I don't make them a lot because unlike my parents I decided to stay into the forest after Seonghwa took the throne while they went to live in the village.”

“So you're a hatter. Yeah that makes sens. Thats still leaves me with nothing ...”

“I'm not doing anything either,” pointed out Wooyoung. He knew that his condition was peculiar but he still felt like it was necessary to remind San. He wasn't alone. Not anymore.

“We can offer you some things to do in the castle. We don't have much to do, but San you told us you can dance ?” said Seonghwa.

“Well yes I _can_ dance, that was my major hyung,” laughed San.

“Well then, how about being a dance teacher ? Last time I went in the village I saw a lot of children dancing, and the old lady that was reponsible of this activity can't take care of it anymore. I'm sure it'll be a good occupation for you ? The ballroom is so empty and I'm not one to give receptions all the time.”

“That sounds ... like a terrific idea actually ! Thank you hyung !”

“What about me ?” asked Wooyoung a little scared he had been forgotten.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong exchanged a gaze full of secrets like they had the secret, and smiled.

“We've been thinking about it a lot and for a long time, but ... we could never really talked to you about it ... Seonghwa and I heard a lot about a wave of hybrids coming to the village after he took the throne. People aren't scared to meddle anymore, our little group is the living proof, and from all over the land, Marmoreal included, children are born with attributes from both their parents. Sort of ... hybrids from hybrids and humans. They have their parents' help to control their powers, but History is still fresh, and the little devils would need someone to teach them about it,” started Hongjoong.

Wooyoung was taken aback for a moment.

“I know you probably don't see it like this, but now that the tension is gone, people aren't afraid of you anymore Wooyoung,” smiled gently Seonghwa, reaching to take one of the dragon' hand. “They see you as a hero, just like all of us really but you are something else for those little hybrids. We understand if you don't want to ! After all, you suffered from the previous Queen the most and it wouldn't be fair to ou to-”

“I'll do it.”

“Really ?”

“You want me to teach these kids about their history ? About the past, and how things were different ? I can do that. I can do that and I think that helping them figuring out more of their powers than they think could be a really good thing. Being born with both a human and a hybrid part is very different than being a hybrid. They're the futur. If they need a guide, I will be it for them. I will help them understand what makes them special, so they never have to think they're not, so that they never get scared of what they can do because they can't control it.”

A few tears had gathered in his eyes but he refused to let them fall, blinking a few times. He had one of San's hand on his back when he was hugged by both Hongjoong and Seonghwa, and even if it was whispered, they all heard the Queen say :

“We're so proud of you. We really are.”

San and Wooyoung were introduced to the villagers the next day. It took them a good week for everything to settle in place, and then everything fell into a nice rythm, catching up with their friends' one. Wooyoung was often seen flying in his dragon form low in the sky, followed by little children in either flying animals or earth creatures, explaining why he never went really high. Seonghwa often came to check on San and the kids in the ballroom, even joining them from time to time, to their great pleasure.

All the other's went back to their business - or upgraded it : Yunho and Mingi finally decided to shoot their shot and the Caterpillar moved in with the Hatter, turning their individual business in a two thing shop. Jongho kept leading people, Yeosang visited everyone in the village to help them with their plants and flowers, and Hongjoong kept running around saying that he was late for whatever task he had for the day.

Some things had changed though. They didn't stay fixed at seeing one another for each birthday or weekends.

Truth be told, they kind of all moved in the Castle, filling the numerous empty chambers with life and love. He wouldn't say it but Seonghwa loved having his little family right under his roof, and Hongjoong joked about it from time to time too.

Soon, Mingi's birthday was at their door, and Yunho and Hongjoong had to keep the Hatter busy while everyone else prepared everything. Yeosang and Jongho had gotten engaged the day prior (Yunho pushing the little cat to finally ask the Rose), so it was needless to say they radiated of happiness all around, Yeosang's flowers glowing more than anyone had ever seen.

San had been able to meet Seonghwa's brother again whom was thrilled to meet with the little boy he once knew, and they spend quite a time talking together and catching up. It turned out that he was married and had a daughter with his wife, and they had asked for Seonghwa to name her, the younger chosing Yeseul for the futur White Queen.

Mingi's birthday was such a mess of music, colors, people singing (more or less right depending if San and Jongho where in or if they decided to let the birthday boy have his fun) and it's exhausted that they all ended spread on the picnic sheets Seonghwa displayed on the grass especially for them, the eight of them looking at the sunset.

San and Wooyoung had taken a sheet and went just a little further from the others, the laters understanding their need for privacy. The older laid on his back, arms bent under his head, while Wooyoung rested head on his stomach, turned to look at him.

“Today was fun,” he confessed. “I didn't have so much fun since the wedding.”

“I had a lot of fun too. I never had this much fun with other people than my family before. And I'm happy to know you enjoyed yourself too Woo.”

He was rewarded with a bright smile and crescent eyes.

“San ... I wanted to know ... what are we ? I mean ... we kiss, and we cuddle, and we sleep in the same bed and my heart beats faster when I'm with you or think about you and I don't really know what this feeling is.”

San's heart missed a few beats at the confession, and asked :

“Do you wish to always see my smile ? Hear my laugh ? Do you want to be the one to make me smile and laugh, but at the same time, you like others making you so you can just stand there and stare at me all you want ?”

Wooyoung was thoughtfull for a second and answered genuinely :

“Yes.”

“That's great. I feel the same about you too. All these things, I want them too. And I love you Wooyoung.”

The silver-haired's eyes widened and he jolted in a sitting position, towering San and looking down at him with excitement :

“You do ?! That's what it is ?! Love ?!”

“Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what it is.”

“Does that mean I love you ?”

He sounded so childish then. Just like their first kiss, ten years ago, he was so curious and ignorant, but in a cute way.

“Probably. That's for you to figure out. But I think that makes us boyfriends, if you want us to be. Juste like Seonghwa and Hongjoong, or Yeosang and Jongho were.”

“I want that,” he nodded. “I want that too. With you. Not anyone else. I've been waiting for you.”

“And I've been waiting for _you_.”

They smiled at eachother and Wooyoung gently kissed San, the later's hand making their way to the younger's waist, holding him and deepening the kiss. It was full of everything they had yet to say, or just couldn't. It had always been easy with them. Never needed words, just a look, a tender gesture, and they had it all figured out.

Just like when they were children.

**Author's Note:**

> PS : they are dressed like in Wonderland's MV


End file.
